In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to flight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #children #food #school #canteens #flight

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In today's fast-paced time, many kids suffer from overweight or obesity and

unfortunately

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unfortunately,

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their number is rising

due to

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consuming a large amount of junk

food

Use synonyms

. Some researchers argued that

this

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type of

food

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should be prevented from

schools

Use synonyms

to solve

this

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problem. In my opinion, I agree that

this

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solution could be effective during a part of the kids' life, but, for sure, there should be other steps followed to terminate

this

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issue and keep the health of the Youngs. Some scholars claim in their research that as the need for junk is increasing very rapidly, especially among young ages whether in

schools

Use synonyms

or outside, the rate of overweight is rising significantly. They explained that these results will cause some difficult problems related to health over the long term. They suggest that by strictly following certain procedures, governments will have the ability to restrain

this

Linking Words

issue as much as possible. One of these suggestions is prohibiting these types of

food

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from

schools

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and replacing them with numerous healthy options in a way that

satisfy

Correct subject-verb agreement

satisfies

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the favorites of the students.

Although

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I agree with

this

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recommendation as it lessens the chances of eating preprocessed

food

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, I believe that there should be other approaches to be observed

besides

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this

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suggestion. One of these ways is preparing events that support the idea of healthy

food

Use synonyms

and its importance, with taking the age of the pupils into consideration.

In addition

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cooperation

Correct your spelling

cooperating

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with families to get accustomed to healthy eating and make it a daily routine.

To conclude

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, the overweight and fitness has considerably increased. Though prohibiting junk in

schools

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, may seem to be a suitable method, I fully believe that it is not sufficient to prevent the overweight of the kids. The most appropriate approach is motivating infants to depend more on health products and play sports regularly.

Submitted by ahmed.nabih.salem on Sat Nov 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically with supporting sentences. Your essay seemed to lose focus at certain points, which affects the overall clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on the introduction and conclusion structure to clearly establish your position and summarize the key points of your argument. While the presence of these elements is noted, they require greater clarity and impact.

coherence cohesion

Develop main points with more detailed support, including examples or evidence. Some of the points were underdeveloped and needed more substance to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task efficiently. The response must reflect a full understanding of the prompt with clear and developed ideas throughout the essay. Make sure to emphasize the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement and justify it thoroughly.

task achievement

Strive to use some specific examples to back up your ideas. This will greatly enhance the illustrative quality of your writing and make your points more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to flight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Plastic bags, bottles, and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to slove this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Some people say the money spent by governments on space programmes would be appropriate. Others believe that it is better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.