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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The graph below gives information about Dubai gold sales in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below gives information about Dubai gold sales in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #dubai #gold #sales #summarise #features #comparisons
The diagram illustrates the difference
of
Change preposition
in of
show examples
 sales
Gold
 in
Dubai
 throughout the month
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2002,
Overall
, the amount of
Dubai
Gold
 sold fluctuated with the highest peak in March with 300 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
 and the lowest in July and September with 100
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Dirhams
 There are 4 main trends in the
afford-mentioned
Correct your spelling
above-mentioned
show examples
 chart .
Firstly
, the data of products of
Dubai
gold
 significantly increased and
peak
Wrong verb form
peaked
show examples
 at 350
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dirhams
 in the first three months.
Secondly
, there
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a substanly
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 from 350 to 110
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dirhams
 in July. After that, from July to October the index of sales of
Dubai
gold
 fluctuated from 110 to 190
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
.
Finally
, the total of
Dubai
gold
 outputs remained steady
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
Submitted by teachingqa272 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gold, dubai, dirhams, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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