IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The vertical chart makes a comparison of
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 working
adults
Use synonyms
 expenditure on 4 activities in 3 nations.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 allocated to flats by London’s citizens seems to outweigh the rest,
while
Linking Words
 terraced
houses
Use synonyms
 were the least occupied in
time
Use synonyms
 working
adults
Use synonyms
. The proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 working
adults
Use synonyms
 in London spent on Flats constituted approximately 60%, which was 2 times as much as in Oxford (30%), followed by the figure for Cambridge at 20%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, detached
Use synonyms
houses
Change the noun form
house
show examples
 activity occupied over 30% of Cambridge's citizen
time
Use synonyms
. Approximately a quarter of
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 that was spent on detached
houses
Use synonyms
 by
adults
Use synonyms
 living in Oxford nation was recognized, compared to only 9%
than
Change preposition
apply
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that in London. An estimated 26% of
time
Use synonyms
 expenditure on semi-detached by the
adults
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 in Oxford and Cambridge was similar, with London’s citizens allocating 17% of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 activity. Meanwhile, only a tiny fraction of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on terraced
houses
Use synonyms
 by
adults
Use synonyms
 in both three countries was around 15%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, adults, houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Proportion
  • Fluctuations
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Time allocation
  • Working adults
  • Activities
  • Comparison
  • Trend
  • Shift
  • Changes
  • Impact
  • Work-life balance
  • Lifestyle
  • Evolution
  • Daily routines
  • Technological changes
  • Social changes
  • Implications
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