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Band 6

The chart below shows the different level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

The chart below shows the different level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.
The given bar horizontal chart illustrates the
requirements
Use synonyms
 after graduating from school in Australia in 1999. The measured use count of genders in Australia. In general, the highest
qualifications
Use synonyms
 for graduated students had the majority of
requirements
Use synonyms
 for male students.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
qualifications
Use synonyms
 were skilled vocational diplomas for women. Regarding the three highest
qualifications
Use synonyms
 for males, the highest
value
Use synonyms
 was a skilled vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
, where the
value
Use synonyms
 was count of 90. Followed by Postgraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
requirements
Use synonyms
 had 70 per cent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the third highest
value
Use synonyms
 was a count of 60 by master's degree. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Change noun form
women's
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women
Add a comma
women,
show examples
qualifications
Use synonyms
 had lower than men's.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the proportion of the
qualifications
Use synonyms
 for women had the highest
value
Use synonyms
 in the Undergraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
, where the number in 70 per cent.
Moreover
Linking Words
, It was clear that the lowest
value
Use synonyms
 had a skilled vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
, which had
acount
Correct your spelling
a count
account
 of 10.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
qualifications
Use synonyms
 for the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 had more
requirements
Use synonyms
 than the females in Australia by 1999.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words requirements, qualifications, value, diploma with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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