In many countries people increasing talking about money (how much they earn or how much they pay for things) in their daily conversation. Why? It is a positive or negative trend?

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The fact that in some nations citizens growing up communicating about

money

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which become a hot topic in many

individual’s

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals’

show examples

day-to-day lives. In general, it is a negative trend. One of the causes of

this

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phenomenon is that individuals like to compare themselves with

others

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and

money

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is the most direct topic to point out the difference. In modern society,

although

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people

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do the same type of work, salaries in different companies are quite different.

People

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are somehow satisfied knowing that they make more

money

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than their friends. Another reason is that discussing

money

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helps

people

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build their financial direction. There are so many ways of investing in the financial markets that it is impossible for one person to be proficient in each of them.

Therefore

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, individuals started exchanging experiences with

others

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to get more information.

Overall

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, discussing

money

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in daily conversation is a negative trend as it has an impact on individuals’ mindsets. Wages and spending are the outcomes of

people

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’s work,

however

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, they will feel anxious when they are inferior to

others

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For example

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, colleagues are likely to discuss their personal salaries even though they obtain different responsibilities in the companies, the comparison mindset will be provoked after they find out

others

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get

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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higher earnings.

Consequently

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, possibly they will possibly feel anxious and unsatisfied with their current situation.

This

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results in the society that graduates prefer to get a job with high wages at first than their real interest. In conclusion, nowadays how much

people

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earn

money

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and comparison has become a normal topic in our lives. And we live in the technology area. So we can’t avoid contracting each other on the internet world and a real life. We have to be able to distinguish from right to wrong.

phamnhung275Sun Nov 19 2023

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Introduction Conclusion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present, but they were not well-developed.

Coherence Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs, making the essay's structure more logical and easier to follow.

Supported Main Points

Develop each main point with specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Complete Response

Address all parts of the task. The essay did discuss why people talk about money but could have elaborated further on whether it is a positive or negative development and why.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Present clear, comprehensive ideas that directly answer the question, ensuring that they're relevant throughout the essay.

Relevant Specific Examples

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your response and demonstrate a clear link to the main topic under discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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In many countries people increasing talking about money (how much they earn or how much they pay for things) in their daily conversation. Why? It is a positive or negative trend?

Your opinion

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Health expert believe that walking is good exercise for health.howerver people are walking less nowadays.why is this happening and what are the solutions?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.