In spite of techological advancement made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Food
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is
one
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of the human basic needs.
However
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, with current technological advancement in the
agriculture
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sector, many people still consider
food
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a luxury
due to
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its scarcity.
This
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essay will delve into the underlying reason for
this
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issue and suggest potential solutions to tackle
this
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. The
growth
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of populations in many countries overruns the speed of research in
agriculture
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. In India,
for instance
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, the majority of parents
demand
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more sons
due to
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the potential wealth that they might bring.
While
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it is not
a
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apply
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rocket science to conceive a boy, there is still a 50% chance of acquiring the other gender,
thus
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parents will keep on trying to get
one
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. Resulting in bigger family members which directly impacts the amount of
food
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needed per household.
Additionally
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, output from farming research cannot keep up with the
demand
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, creating a gap between supply and
demand
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despite the advancement in science. Suppressing the
growth
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of the
population
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and investing more in agricultural advancement are two potential suggestions to overcome the current problem. China,
one
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of the countries with the largest
population
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, has already implemented the first action by forcing society to have only
one
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descendant.
This
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initiative has proven to be effective in regard to slowing down the
population
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growth
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that stabilised the
demand
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for basic needs for these several past years. If
this
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initiative is combined with the right investment, we might reap enough
food
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sources to support the world in the upcoming years. In conclusion, the high speed of
population
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growth
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that surpassed the
agriculture
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improvement is the root cause of the insufficient supply of
food
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. I believe that combining ways to slow down the
population
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and increase research-focused
agriculture
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might reduce the current gap between production and consumption.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a proper logical structure with clear paragraphing. It is essential to organize the response into distinct paragraphs and use topic sentences followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence for each paragraph. This should include an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
It is clear that an introduction and a conclusion are present; however, they are not fully effective. In the introduction, aim to paraphrase the question and clearly state the purpose of the essay. In the conclusion, restate the main points and provide a clear ending to your argument without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present but are not sufficiently developed with supporting details and explanations. Work on expanding the main points with specific details, examples, and relevant arguments to strengthen the essay.
task achievement
While you have attempted to address the task, the complete response needed is not maintained throughout the essay. Ensure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively and maintain a clear position throughout your response.
task achievement
The ideas presented are somewhat clear but not comprehensive. Strive for greater clarity by precisely articulating your points and ensuring each paragraph conveys a single main idea that progresses the argument logically.
task achievement
There is a lack of relevant and specific examples that substantiate your points. Use precise examples to illustrate your arguments and explain how they are relevant to the task prompt. Refer to research, studies, or factual data when possible to add authority to your writing.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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