IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for a short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this?

#part #education #students #work #company #period #time #salary
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Several students tend to find a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 without expectation of salary as a section of their education. There are some benefits and drawbacks which in my point of view its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged that students learn some essential skills which will be beneficial for their future careers. Working as an apprentice will provide a practical chance to
experience
Use synonyms
 a
job
Use synonyms
 environment and get ready for a real occupation after graduation.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 period of time can be considered as an
experience
Use synonyms
 in their CV. Since employers prefer to recruit someone experienced, it can be helpful to persuade
job
Use synonyms
 owners to prioritise these cases rather than those backgroundless
job
Use synonyms
 seekers. As an example, our company gives a positive point to those who have had apprenticeship
experience
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is ample evidence that by working
along with
Linking Words
 studying, they can not be completely focused on their subjects.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their scores will be lower than their rivals who do not work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will be fatigued by overloading themselves which may lead to some diseases.
Also
Linking Words
, these learners are not as energetic as their classmates to learn and memorise new lessons. A case in point was my university classmate who used to sleep during the sessions and could not compete with the others.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks provided by working during education years
such
Linking Words
 as extra tiredness and a lack of concentration, the benefits like learning relevant skills and a considerable resume
due to
Linking Words
 having
experience
Use synonyms
 worth the difficulties.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue is like a double-edged sword for those who are struggling with it.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary
Try to diversify your vocabulary and use more sophisticated expressions. This will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher command of the language.
Grammar
Be mindful of repeating similar sentence structures. Varying your sentence lengths and types will make your writing more dynamic and interesting.
Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use more varied linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your stance effectively.
Supporting Examples
Each main point is well-supported with relevant examples, which enhances the task achievement.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument and reinforces your position, bringing your essay to a cohesive close.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: