It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #food #research

The

map

illustrates

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Stromer's transformation that has been taken to action since 1985.

Overall

, the size of the city has grown significantly and a major deforestation

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

has been done to make room for residential areas and city facilities. In the North, old houses are replaced by apartments, and

also

a part of

forest

Add an article

the forest

show examples

is chupt off to make room for new apartments and an Airport, which is located in

North-East

Correct article usage

the North-East

show examples

of the

map

. To the centre of

map

Add an article

the map

show examples

, trees have been logged and a new school has

bulit

Correct your spelling

built

while

Shops are

surounding

Correct your spelling

surrounding

it. A number of houses

Change the verb form

are

show examples

constructed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

East of the

map

, just above the

Farmland

, an area

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

was a part of the

Farmland

once. In

South

Correct article usage

the South

show examples

, the majority of the

Farmland

is replaced by apartment complexes and

city-center

Change the spelling

city-centre

show examples

shops.

Whereas

part of it located

Change preposition

show examples

East side

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is replaced by houses. Now the

farmland

it self

Correct your spelling

itself

show examples

is limited to the

South-East

Correct your spelling

Southeast

show examples

areas.

Submitted by anayasinwriting on Sun Nov 19 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of IELTS writing tasks. Be sure to include these in your response to establish the context and to summarize your main points effectively.

Logical Structure

The essay does not follow a logical sequence which can confuse the reader. Improve coherence by organizing your ideas more logically, using topic sentences and following paragraphs. Make clear connections between your points.

Supporting Examples

Support your ideas with specific examples and explanations. While there are some examples given, they could be more detailed and directly related to the key points for a stronger argument.

Task Response

The response does not fully address the IELTS task since you've described a map rather than discussing the necessity of using animals for food, clothing, or medical research. Please make sure to respond directly to the given question.

Idea Expression

Work on clearly communicating your ideas. This includes using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, as well as checking for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Avoid colloquial language and maintain a formal tone throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

158 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba driving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

It is an arguable topic that children should start learning the language of other country while they are in the primary school instead of secondary school. In my opinion learning a different language at folk school has more benefits than drawbacks