IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #food #research
The
map
 illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Stromer's transformation that has been taken to action since 1985.
Overall
, the size of the city has grown significantly and a major deforestation
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
has been done to make room for residential areas and city facilities. In the North, old houses are replaced by apartments, and
also
 a part of
forest
Add an article
the forest
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 is chupt off to make room for new apartments and an Airport, which is located in
North-East
Correct article usage
the North-East
show examples
 of the
map
. To the centre of
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
, trees have been logged and a new school has
bulit
Correct your spelling
built
,
while
 Shops are
surounding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
 it. A number of houses
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 constructed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
East of the
map
, just above the
Farmland
, an area
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 was a part of the
Farmland
 once. In
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
, the majority of the
Farmland
 is replaced by apartment complexes and
city-center
Change the spelling
city-centre
show examples
 shops.
Whereas
 part of it located
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 East side
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is replaced by houses. Now the
farmland
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 is limited to the
South-East
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
 areas.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of IELTS writing tasks. Be sure to include these in your response to establish the context and to summarize your main points effectively.
Logical Structure
The essay does not follow a logical sequence which can confuse the reader. Improve coherence by organizing your ideas more logically, using topic sentences and following paragraphs. Make clear connections between your points.
Supporting Examples
Support your ideas with specific examples and explanations. While there are some examples given, they could be more detailed and directly related to the key points for a stronger argument.
Task Response
The response does not fully address the IELTS task since you've described a map rather than discussing the necessity of using animals for food, clothing, or medical research. Please make sure to respond directly to the given question.
Idea Expression
Work on clearly communicating your ideas. This includes using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, as well as checking for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Avoid colloquial language and maintain a formal tone throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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