Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays,
music
is considered to be a key in gathering people of different age
by the common Fix the agreement mistake
ages
music
taste and creating multi-cultural communities, and I strongly agree with it.
The fact that tuneful melody can positively influence individuals has been proved recently by scientists. That is
why some melodies can be a
Correct article usage
apply
direct association
with Replace the word
directly associated
some
warm memories Correct quantifier usage
apply
such
as early morning in childhood for both Correct article usage
the elder
elder
and youth, making people closer to each other. Replace the word
elderly
Also
, some popular music
bands have a covert meaning in their songs based either on numerous historical concepts or their attitude to some issues in life like love. Meanwhile, an old generation, who have been acquittanced with that band since their juvenility, is cognizant of a hidden truly
meaning and Change the word
true
this
makes it gripping to hear it from them for new young members. Sometimes live music
as well as
recording can bring people together of all age by
concerts, where Change preposition
through
community
have Add an article
the community
a
common taste and it is a good opportunity to teens hang out and elder remind themselves about Correct article usage
apply
lovely
time.
Despite the fact that for ones from world parts that are completely opposite in culture and Correct article usage
a lovely
customs
the catchy tune may play a decisive role in their communication by bringing in people’s talks a thing in common Add a comma
customs,
such
as favourite rock group. The type of music
listened each
day can help not only to reveal traits and know each other better as being well informed of personal preferencesChange preposition
to each
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to dive into other cultures and soak up its
vibe.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
their
music
is a factor, which can evoke intense emotions and help to communicate more smoothly.Submitted by arinatiutina on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay should progress from one idea to the next seamlessly, using appropriate linking words and maintaining coherence throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are mostly clear, yet they could be more impactful. The introduction should outline your main points briefly, and the conclusion should summarize your argument effectively without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
To earn a higher score in supported main points, expand on your ideas with more developed examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure every main point is substantiated with clear reasoning or specific examples.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, however, you need to fully address all parts of the prompt. Make sure you respond thoroughly to the question asked, expressing and supporting your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are relatively clear and comprehensive, but some may lack depth. Enhance your essay by elaborating on your points and exploring them more fully, to demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your argument. While you included some examples, strive for a more detailed demonstration of how music can bring people together across cultures and through generations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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