Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Nowadays,
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is considered to be a key in gathering people of different
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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by the common
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

taste and creating multi-cultural communities, and I strongly agree with it. The fact that tuneful melody can positively influence individuals has been proved recently by scientists.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why some melodies can be
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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direct association
Replace the word
directly associated

The word direct association doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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with
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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warm memories
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as early morning in childhood for both
Correct article usage
the elder
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elder
Replace the word
elderly

The word elder doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and youth, making people closer to each other.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some popular
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

bands have a covert meaning in their songs based either on numerous historical concepts or their attitude to some issues in life like love. Meanwhile, an old generation, who have been acquittanced with that band since their juvenility, is cognizant of a hidden
truly
Change the word
true

Truly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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meaning and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

makes it gripping to hear it from them for new young members. Sometimes live
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

recording can bring people together of all age
by
Change preposition
through

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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concerts, where
community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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common taste and it is a good opportunity to teens hang out and elder remind themselves about
lovely
Correct article usage
a lovely

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time. Despite the fact that for ones from world parts that are completely opposite in culture and
customs
Add a comma
customs,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for ones from world parts that are completely opposite in culture and customs. Consider adding a comma.

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the catchy tune may play a decisive role in their communication by bringing in people’s talks a thing in common
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as favourite rock group. The type of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

listened
each
Change preposition
to each

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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day can help not only to reveal traits and know each other better as being well informed of personal preferences
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to dive into other cultures and soak up
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
vibe. In conclusion,
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a factor, which can evoke intense emotions and help to communicate more smoothly.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay should progress from one idea to the next seamlessly, using appropriate linking words and maintaining coherence throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are mostly clear, yet they could be more impactful. The introduction should outline your main points briefly, and the conclusion should summarize your argument effectively without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
To earn a higher score in supported main points, expand on your ideas with more developed examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure every main point is substantiated with clear reasoning or specific examples.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, however, you need to fully address all parts of the prompt. Make sure you respond thoroughly to the question asked, expressing and supporting your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are relatively clear and comprehensive, but some may lack depth. Enhance your essay by elaborating on your points and exploring them more fully, to demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your argument. While you included some examples, strive for a more detailed demonstration of how music can bring people together across cultures and through generations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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