IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #graphs #show #consistency #two #dinners #report #university #lecturer #data
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The two pie charts illustrate the nutritional consistency ratio of
Use synonyms
medium baked
Add a hyphen
medium-baked
show examples
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
potato
 and
macaroni
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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medium
Use synonyms
 baked
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
potato
is more
Verb problem
are
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 healthier than
macaroni
Use synonyms
 because of the
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
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 amount of carbohydrates and saturated fat.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the carbohydrate consistency of
medium
Use synonyms
 baked
potato
Use synonyms
 is about 35 per cent
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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macaroni
Use synonyms
 contains just more than half of the total nutrients(52%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
medium
Use synonyms
 baked
potato
Use synonyms
 has a better percentage of protein,a quarter of the total
while
Linking Words
macaroni
Use synonyms
 has 11%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,40% encountered glucose,saturated fat and other
nutients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 in yam.Respectively 15%, 10% and 15%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the glucose consistency of
macaroni
Use synonyms
 is lower than
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
, about 11% and the other nutrients contain 5% which is one-third of the baked
Use synonyms
potato
Change noun form
potato's
show examples
other nutrient amount
Change the wording
another nutrient amount
other nutrient amounts
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the nutritional containment of
macaroni
Use synonyms
 is unbalanced
due to
Linking Words
 the high proportion of saturated fat.Which is about 21%
whereas
Linking Words
 the
medium
Use synonyms
 baked
potato
Use synonyms
 has less than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of it.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words medium, macaroni, potato with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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