In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry
The two provided plans compare the current layout of a university's
sports
center
with its projected developments for the future.
Change the spelling
centre
Overall
, it is noticeable that the plan will undergo substantial changes. It will be extended from either western
Correct article usage
the western
and
eastern side to provide enough Correct word choice
or
room
for constructing a range of new facilities as well as
some new studios.
In terms of extension, although
the main central facilities, namely the 25m pool
, along with
the seating used and the changing room
, in the west of the pool
will remain the same, the gym to the north of the pool
is projected to be expanded horizontally to the east, which will be followed by the addition of two dance studios on the right side of the sports
center
, facing a new Change the spelling
centre
sports
ball, which is planned to be constructed east of the current seating
area.
Additionally
, construction
of two additional changing Correct article usage
the construction
room
on either southern corner of the projected plan is considered. Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
Moreover
, through the reception, a new cafe on the right and a new sports
shop, on the left will be seen. Finally
, according to
the considered projections, a leisure pool
will take the place of the current western outdoor courts, as it will be deconstructed to provide enough room
for this
new facility.Submitted by parvizrashidi on
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coherence cohesion
You have provided a basic overview of the changes planned for the university's sports center. However, the essay has significant issues with logical structure, introduction and conclusion, and supporting main points. To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating a logical flow that guides the reader from one point to the next seamlessly. Ensure that your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and a brief overview, followed by body paragraphs that each cover a specific aspect of the sports center in more detail. Each body paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and be elaborated with supporting details. A concluding paragraph should summarize the main points discussed. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the connections between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay does not fully address the task requirements, which undermines task achievement. Including a detailed and clear introduction and conclusion can convey a more complete response. Presenting your ideas comprehensively and providing specific examples to support them can substantially improve your score. Describe more precisely how the changes will affect the sports center's usability and consider discussing the reasons for these changes or their potential impact on the university community. Providing these specific details will better demonstrate a complete understanding of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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