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Band 4

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
Some people are of the opinion that it is essential to produce a new
railway
.
By contrast
, some believe that
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 should have been rebuilt.
This
 essay will discuss both views . Some railways are too unique to be spread.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of amenities that could not be fixed. some people assume that it is better to change the
railway
 and build another one ,
due to
Change preposition
because
show examples
 it could put their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in danger. Definitely individual's life
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 worth
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 a lot of money
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
As a result
, they tend to make a new
railway
 for their safety,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
 they want to live in a modern city with
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
facilities, and preserving the old public transportation is not
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for them.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some humans believe constructing
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
railway
 is likely to waste money for no reason. No matter how
the
Correct word choice
old the
show examples
 railways are old. They love to get on
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
 which reminds their childhood, and it throw them back to their memories.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
 their preference is
refurbish
Fix the infinitive
to refurbish
show examples
 that.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 they have some problems with
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 a lot of money to construct the
railway
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 their opinion, it could be better to allocate the budget to some more important issues.
To sum up
, I have
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 idea. In my view, if the railways are old, it is better to
made
Change the verb
make
show examples
 a new one.
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 we have to be cautious about destroying historical heritage. I think
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must ask people to vote
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 preferences
Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with clear supporting examples and explanations to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear central topic, and ideas should be linked together coherently with appropriate connective words.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammar and sentence structure to ensure clarity and accuracy in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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