IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You have recently migrated to another country. Now write this letter to your friend to describe your present life. In your letter say.. When you have moved to this country Why you chose this country How things are now for you

#country #friend #life
Dear Sumon, I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about
breifly
Correct your spelling
briefly
 describing my present life in Toronto,
Canada
. As you know, I have been preparing myself
in immigrating
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to immigrate
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Canada
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to Canada
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 as
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
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 residence with my family members.
For
this
 reason, I was very busy
to complete
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completing
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 my visa processing by a local renowned agency and I
could
Verb problem
was
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 not able to inform you about my plan to migrate
in
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apply
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abroad. By the grace of almighty Allah,
finally
 I got
Canada
Correct article usage
a Canada
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 visa on
7th
Correct article usage
the 7th
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 of November 2023 with permanent residence in Toronto.
Furthermore
, we have already started to
get preparation
Verb problem
prepare
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 with bags and baggage to move to
Canada
. The flight ticket has been booked and we will fly by Bangladesh Airlines at 10 pm, on
25th
Correct article usage
the 25th
show examples
 of November. As far as I am concerned,
Canada
 is a very beautiful country to live in with family members.
Also
, there is a lot of employment opportunity where I can get a job with a view to enhance my professional career. Almost one month passed,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 have been staying in Toronto,
Canada
.
Overall
, we have been enjoying our days since the inception of landing in
Canada
. Yours lovingly, Faisal
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the letter addresses all the points mentioned in the task. Provide more elaboration on 'Why you chose this country' and 'How things are now for you' with specific examples or experiences.
Task Achievement
Work on crafting a suitable writing tone that is consistent throughout the letter. The tone should be friendly and informal since you are writing to a friend.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter would benefit from a more cohesive structure with clear logical progression from one paragraph to the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a more personalised salutation and complimentary close that are appropriate for a letter to a friend.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • culture shock
  • adjustment
  • adventure
  • language barrier
  • bureaucracy
  • immigration process
  • exciting
  • challenging
  • networking
  • international community
  • integration
  • support system
  • job prospects
  • standard of living
  • multicultural
  • diverse
  • satisfying
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