Courses in music and art should be compulsory for students in high school. Do you agree or disagree with the idea?

#courses #music #art #students #school #idea

The importance of music and art to be compulsory in high school which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial

while

others reject

this

notion. The substantial influence of

this

trend has sparked controversy over

the

Change the word

its

show examples

potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, no subject should be mandatory and

this

notion appears to be more rational. Analyzing the statement and explaining

further

, the first and foremost reason behind

this

is that interest is the key factor which encourages research, discovery and innovation. Another striking benefit in

this

regard is that with interest, the success and the performance of the student become better. Categorically , it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind

this

is, interest. It makes a student responsible and creative. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that, nowadays, every hobby is a complete profession. Moving

further

, it is pertinent to mention that another purpose of education is to settle in life and earn for a better future.

Moreover

, music and art are the two subjects related to the natural talent of a student which is not common. To recapitulate,

according to

the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the drawbacks of making music and art compulsory subjects are indeed too dire to ignore.

Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on Mon Nov 20 2023

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task achievement

Your essay introduction briefly introduces the topic and presents a clear opinion, which meets the basic requirements for IELTS task response. However, it lacks a thesis statement that outlines the main ideas you will discuss throughout the essay. You should improve the task response by providing a clear thesis statement and ensuring that your opinion is addressed more consistently throughout the essay.

task achievement

While your essay presents a clear argument opposing the mandatory nature of music and art classes in high schools, the reasoning could be more thoroughly developed with relevant, specific examples. Your essay would benefit from including concrete examples that demonstrate why subjects should not be mandatory based on interest, innovation, and professional potential. By providing such examples, you will strengthen the task achievement by illustrating your points more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay displays an adequate structure with introductory and concluding paragraphs, but the logical flow could be improved. The essay jumps from point to point without fully explaining or connecting them. Use more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve coherence. Ensure that there is a logical sequence that readers can easily follow from one paragraph to the next. This will help in scoring higher in the coherence and cohesion criteria.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Courses in music and art should be compulsory for students in high school. Do you agree or disagree with the idea?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people said that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, some people believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both sides.

many people say that we have developed into a throw away culture because we are filing up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we can't fully dispose of . to what extent do u agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem.

Private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicles be reduced?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?