: Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unneccessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Certain
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

claim that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to be with their relatives all the
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others contend that it is
unnecessary
Add an article
an unnecessary

The noun phrase unnecessary thing seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
thing to do. In my opinion, spending
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with their
closed
Correct word choice
loved

There may be an adjective issue here.

show examples
ones is essential and beneficial for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. There might be several reasons why
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to believe that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

don't need to spend much
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with their
families
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, over-reliance on family
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may limit a child's social circle and hinder their ability to interact with a diverse range of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In Russia,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, psychologists of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's social behaviour held an experiment among pupils of the age 7-9 years, who attended classes at school and others, who studied from home. They discovered, that
social
Correct article usage
the social

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
skills of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
school
Add an article
the school

The noun phrase school seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
were
on
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
significantly
Add an article
a significantly

The noun phrase significantly higher level seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
higher level. They could easily interact with peers and adults,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

those who
practiced
Change the spelling
practised

The spelling of practiced is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
a home study, had some issues with that.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to learn autonomy and independent play which can be supported by spending
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

away from family.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, social interaction without parents can help
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to boost their communication skills.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
Findland
Correct your spelling
Finland

If you don’t want Findland to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

parents start leaving their kids in
kinderrgartens
Correct your spelling
kindergartens
kindergarten

If you don’t want kinderrgartens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
all
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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day
Fix the agreement mistake
days

It seems that day may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
from 2 years old. Despite the arguments mentioned above
spendinf
Correct your spelling
spending

If you don’t want spendinf to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with their
families
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
crucial
Add an article
a crucial

The noun phrase crucial role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
role
for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
fitire
Correct your spelling
future
fire

If you don’t want fitire to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

development. It
undoubtedly
Add a missing verb
is undoubtedly

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
, that
families
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provide a nurturing environment.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

means that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
spending
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with them helps in
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's emotional development.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun research in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
recent scientific research
of
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
American doctors, small
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to know that they are loved, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case
Add a comma
case,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this case. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
they feel safe and comfortable.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

engaging with family members can reinforce family bonds and teach important social values. It means that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can become more
affective
Correct your spelling
effective

The word affective doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
members of society in future.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, once they start their professional career. In
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concussion

If you don’t want concusion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions

It seems that opinion may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
differ as
whether
Change preposition
to whether

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
or not spending
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with their
families
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is important for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I would argue that it is
very
Correct article usage
a very

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
important part of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, which affects their future.
Submitted by t-staro on

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introduction conclusion present
Please make sure that your essay comprises an introduction that clearly states the issues being discussed and your stance, a body where the main points are explored with examples and explanations, and a conclusion that summarises your arguments and restates your position. The absence of a clear introduction and conclusion is a significant issue in your essay.
logical structure
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and proper paragraphing. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Although there is an attempt at creating structure, the essay would benefit from more clear and purposeful paragraph transitions as well as variation in connecting words.
supported main points
Always support your main points with specific examples and explanations. In this essay, there are some generalized statements that would be strengthened by the addition of more detailed examples. Providing research findings is good but adding more concrete examples from real life scenarios or your own experience could enhance the quality of your arguments.
complete response
A complete response to the prompt is essential, including addressing all parts of the task evenly. It appears that the essay could explore some areas in greater depth, especially those opposing the writer's view. Balance is key, and showing an understanding of multiple perspectives enriches the response.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented should be clear and comprehensive. While the essay does contain relevant points, the clarity of some ideas is affected by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. By revising the essay for language accuracy, the clarity of the ideas will significantly improve.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to bolster your arguments. This essay does include some examples, but they are not detailed enough to fully support the assertions made. By using clear and vivid examples, you can increase the persuasiveness of your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional development
  • reinforce family bonds
  • social values
  • over-reliance
  • diverse range of people
  • autonomy
  • independent play
  • structured
  • unstructured play
  • extracurricular activities
  • cognitive skills
  • well-rounded experience
  • social settings
  • quality of family time
What to do next:
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