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Band 2.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
At
this
 time,
relevance
Add an article
the relevance
show examples
 of doing something online is increasing rapidly. Since the technology is developing, there are some problems that
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to solution.
For instance
, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 people will buy old-fashioned newspapers or books
as a result
 of becoming greater technology without paying. It’s clear that depends on how will perceive
this
 next generation.
Firstly
, in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 everybody has
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 smartphones
then
 they choose the easiest way to get something. To illustrate,
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 generation
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to read volumes that they can download from free websites
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 owning
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
paid
Correct pronoun usage
paid ones
show examples
.
However
, between aged people and
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 peer group can be some differences because of their stage of life. Even so, in my view buying printed work will lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 importance
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Secondly
, using only online versions of reading skills
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
also
harms
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
. If we daily go with gadgets
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 phones it’ll affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our health badly.
In addition
, for some human
species
Add a comma
species,
show examples
 it makes
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to concentrate.
Therefore
, it is
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 hard to say that
after
this
 humanity will read everything online or offline.
To sum up
, reading everything online without paying is able to replace our traditional way of reading or getting information.
Although
 it has many cases when people prefer offline getting needed information. The demand for online requirements is growing every day. It predicts that new technologies can substitute
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
 ways.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas progress logically from one to the other, maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly addresses the task prompt and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the thesis if applicable.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific details and examples. Avoid general statements that do not add substance to the argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that your response is complete and that you provide a clear position throughout the response.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully and express them clearly. Make use of paragraphs effectively and use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary.
task achievement
Utilize relevant, specific examples to bolster your arguments. Avoid vague statements and ensure examples are directly connected to the points being made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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