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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012.

The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012.
The graph illustrates the percentage of money spent on health care services in three European
countries
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 and two
non European
Add a hyphen
non-European
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countries
Use synonyms
 over the year 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart demonstrates that the total spending and public spending had simultaneously increased for all the
countries
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in private spending, it is shown to be low for all
countries
Use synonyms
 except for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. The graph
represents
Verb problem
shows
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 total spending to be a gradual
increase
Use synonyms
 across all the
countries
Use synonyms
 from 8% to14%. There
seems
Add the particle
seems to
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 be a steady
increase
Use synonyms
 of 2-4% in public spending as well, the highest being 14% and the lowest around 4.8%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, private spending had an abrupt
increase
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 for all
countries
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 - Japan, Italy, France,
German
Replace the word
Germany
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, USA.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there is a trend
oberved
Correct your spelling
observed
 between total spending and public spending. Starting with
Correct article usage
a
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steady
increase
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 plateau , and
then
Linking Words
 starkly
increase
Use synonyms
 a significant percentage.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar trend is seen in public speaking as well.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health expenditure
  • Percentage of GDP
  • Trend analysis
  • Economic prosperity
  • Health outcomes
  • Quality of healthcare
  • Allocation of resources
  • Healthcare services
  • Political, social, and economic factors
  • International organizations
  • Government policies
  • Predictive trends
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