More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home/allowing students to study at home. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#companies #employees #work #home #students #study #development

Nowaday

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Nowadays

show examples

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with

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the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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technonlogy

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technology

. It has

became

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become

show examples

more and more popular for people to work/ study without leaving

the

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apply

show examples

home. there is

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an argumnet

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argumnet

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argument

that if

this

trend will have

positive

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a positive

show examples

nagative

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negative

impact

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

This

essay will

emphasis

Replace the word

emphasise

show examples

this

phenomenon. Working remotely can reduce the unnecessary

time

wasting

Wrong verb form

wasted

show examples

on many things,

for example

: the commute

time

between home and workplace or school.

Accoring

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According

to the

researh

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research

the average commute that people spend on travel in the

metropolian

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metropolitan

city is more than one hour per day, what's more, during the

traveling

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travelling

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there is

babrely

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barely

few

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a few

show examples

thing

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things

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can

Wrong verb form

be done

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due to

the over

croweded

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crowded

public

transpotation

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transportation

. So

this

period of

time

will be wasted.

In addition

, working remotely will bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

flexiablity

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flexibility

for the individuals. Especially for the part-

time

students, they will have more

opptunities

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opportunities

to attend the courses which are not in working hours.

The part-

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Part-time

show examples

time

student will usually face the

problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

that their working

time

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

conflit

Correct your spelling

conflicts

with the course

time

. The online course will provide the perfect solution for

this

group of individuals.

On the other hand

, studying in the school or office will

also

have some

benifits

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benefits

for instance

, it will make

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and working become much

Correct quantifier usage

more effiecent

show examples

effiecent

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efficient

Becasue

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Because

in school he students and employees will under the supervision

from

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show examples

thier

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their

teachers and

empolyer

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employer

, which will improve the motivation and

decipline

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discipline

However

, as far as

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show examples

Add a missing verb

am concered

show examples

concered

Correct your spelling

concerned

, I believe working or studying remotely will bring

Add an article

a more

show examples

positive

outcome

Fix the agreement mistake

outcomes

show examples

. And

this

is the trend of the future. By

implmenting

Correct your spelling

implementing

this

, individuals will have more

time

to enjoy the life and company

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

family members.

To sum up

, I believe working and studying remotely will

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

for the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. especially considering the

time saving

Add a hyphen

time-saving

show examples

and flexibility.

Submitted by lushizhe0809 on Mon Nov 20 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they are not compelling nor clear.

logical structure

Work on the logical flow of your essay. Organise your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. The overall structure would benefit from clearer transitions and paragraphing.

supported main points

Develop your supporting ideas more thoroughly. Include more detailed and concrete examples to back up your points.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure you address the task fully. The essay does identify positive and negative aspects, but it lacks full development of the argument. Consider both sides of the issue in more depth, and provide a clearer personal stance supported by examples.

relevant specific examples

Expand on your examples to fully illustrate your points, ensuring they are relevant and detailed. The current essay lacks specific real-world examples that could strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Proofread to avoid spelling and grammatical errors. (

task achievement

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

294 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home/allowing students to study at home. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The table illustrates the available income from each family and how it spends on food and outfits, while the pie charts represent the proportion of spending on those categories in 2010 and 2013.