More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home/allowing students to study at home. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
by
the development of Change preposition
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
technonlogy
. It has Correct your spelling
technology
became
more and more popular for people to work/ study without leaving Change the verb form
become
the
home. there is Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
an argumnet
argumnet
that if Correct your spelling
argument
this
trend will have positive
or Correct article usage
a positive
nagative
impact Correct your spelling
negative
to
Change preposition
on
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
this
phenomenon.
Working remotely can reduce the unnecessary time
wasting
on many things, Wrong verb form
wasted
for example
: the commute time
between home and workplace or school. Accoring
to the Correct your spelling
According
researh
the average commute that people spend on travel in the Correct your spelling
research
metropolian
city is more than one hour per day, what's more, during the Correct your spelling
metropolitan
traveling
there is Change the spelling
travelling
babrely
Correct your spelling
barely
few
Correct article usage
a few
thing
can Change to a plural noun
things
do
Wrong verb form
be done
due to
the over croweded
public Correct your spelling
crowded
transpotation
. So Correct your spelling
transportation
this
period of time
will be wasted.
In addition
, working remotely will bring the
Correct article usage
apply
flexiablity
for the individuals. Especially for the part-Correct your spelling
flexibility
time
students, they will have more opptunities
to attend the courses which are not in working hours. Correct your spelling
opportunities
The part-
Correct article usage
Part-time
time
student will usually face the problems
that their working Fix the agreement mistake
problem
time
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
conflit
with the course Correct your spelling
conflicts
time
. The online course will provide the perfect solution for this
group of individuals.
On the other hand
, studying in the school or office will also
have some benifits
, Correct your spelling
benefits
for instance
, it will make study
and working become much Wrong verb form
studying
Correct quantifier usage
more effiecent
effiecent
. Correct your spelling
efficient
Becasue
in school he students and employees will under the supervision Correct your spelling
Because
from
Change preposition
of
thier
teachers and Correct your spelling
their
empolyer
, which will improve the motivation and Correct your spelling
employer
decipline
. Correct your spelling
discipline
However
, as far as i
Change the capitalization
I
Add a missing verb
am concered
concered
, I believe working or studying remotely will bring Correct your spelling
concerned
more
positive Add an article
a more
outcome
. And Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
this
is the trend of the future. By implmenting
Correct your spelling
implementing
this
, individuals will have more time
to enjoy the life and company their
family members.
Change preposition
of their
To sum up
, I believe working and studying remotely will benifit
for the development of Correct your spelling
benefit
the
society. especially considering the Correct article usage
apply
time saving
and flexibility.Add a hyphen
time-saving
Submitted by lushizhe0809 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they are not compelling nor clear.
logical structure
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Organise your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. The overall structure would benefit from clearer transitions and paragraphing.
supported main points
Develop your supporting ideas more thoroughly. Include more detailed and concrete examples to back up your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure you address the task fully. The essay does identify positive and negative aspects, but it lacks full development of the argument. Consider both sides of the issue in more depth, and provide a clearer personal stance supported by examples.
relevant specific examples
Expand on your examples to fully illustrate your points, ensuring they are relevant and detailed. The current essay lacks specific real-world examples that could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread to avoid spelling and grammatical errors. (
task achievement
Pay close attention to the accuracy of your language use, as numerous errors in grammar and vocabulary can impede understanding.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?