Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Some professionals
argued
that for wealthy Wrong verb form
argue
counry
increasing their Correct your spelling
countries
level
of economics
will not resulting
in satisfied citizens. I agree that rich countries can't provide more satisfaction for their Wrong verb form
result
people
just increasing
Change preposition
by increasing
economics
. My take on this
is that cictizens achiving
Correct your spelling
citizens achieving
base
Correct article usage
a base
level
of life will need
be more Add the particle
need to
intrested
in education or Correct your spelling
interested
environment
improvement. Replace the word
environmental
On the other hand
, rich
Add an article
a rich
the rich
country
not
always mean wealthy Change the verb form
does not
did not
people
.
In a developed country
with steady economics
, people
tend to worry more about social problems either
Correct word choice
than
economics
. It is common,
Remove the comma
apply
when
Correct word choice
that when
base
Add an article
the base
level
of needs is covered, cictizens
start to improve next Correct your spelling
citizens
level
. Some of
Change preposition
apply
people
would more
Add a missing verb
be more
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
to develop
education, Change preposition
in developing
some
would to Correct word choice
and some
attemp
improve Verb problem
apply
ecological
situation in a Add an article
the ecological
country
or even in a
world. Correct article usage
the
For instance
, if family
Add an article
the family
a family
is
already Unnecessary verb
apply
have
all Correct subject-verb agreement
has
nesessary
for regular life, including house, car and medical Correct your spelling
necessary
insuerance
. The yield of Correct your spelling
insurance
this
average family is high, they can affort
Correct your spelling
afford
a lots
of things to themself. But it's often Correct the article-noun agreement
lots
a lot
on
that stage that Change preposition
at
owing
new stuff or devices Correct your spelling
owning
don't
bring happiness.
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
In contrast
to citizens who already have all to cover base level
needs, it is still possible that in very
developed and reach Correct article usage
a very
coutry
we can find Correct your spelling
country
poverty-striken
Correct your spelling
poverty-stricken
people
. From my point of view, there is no such
rich country
in the wrold
Correct your spelling
world
wich
sold the problem of Correct your spelling
which
indungent
Correct your spelling
indulgent
indigent
people
. Even if economics
is steadly grownig
up, we can easily find Correct your spelling
steadily growing
people
that not
satisfied with their Add a missing verb
are not
life
.
In conclusion, it's Fix the agreement mistake
lives
immposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
to
wealthy and developed countries Change preposition
for
achive
happy citizens merely Correct your spelling
achieve
Change preposition
by imporiving
imporiving
only Correct your spelling
improving
importing
economics
.Submitted by nadin45681 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Be careful with paragraphing and try to present one idea per paragraph.
task achievement
Ideas should be developed and explained more comprehensively. Each main point should be expanded with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling mistakes and use the correct form of words (e.g., 'rich country' instead of 'wealthy counry', 'satisfying' instead of 'satisfied', 'achieve' instead of 'achive').
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical range and accuracy. There are several grammatical errors present which can be avoided through careful revision and proofreading before submission.
task achievement
Work on your argumentation skills. Clearly state your opinion and support it with specific reasons and examples, rather than general statements.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical flow of the essay. Sentences should connect smoothly, and ideas should follow logically from one to another.
task achievement
Be sure to directly address the question throughout the essay. Stay on topic and make sure every paragraph contributes to answering the question.
coherence cohesion
Consider enriching your vocabulary with a wider range of academic terms and phrases suited to formal essays.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your thesis and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. These can greatly strengthen your argument and display a higher level of task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.