IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the era of modern
technology
Use synonyms
 when the whole globe is in the grab of our hand. Some individuals hold the opinion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 our
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 culture, way of living,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 the way of reading habit will be changed by the effect of
technology
Use synonyms
, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 concept that online reading like;
Ebook
Use synonyms
,
pdf
Correct your spelling
PDF
show examples
copy
Fix the agreement mistake
copies
show examples
,
audio
Correct word choice
and audio
show examples
novel
Fix the agreement mistake
novels
show examples
 will totally replenish our traditional
newspaper
Use synonyms
 and
magazines
Use synonyms
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, people's
life became
Wrong verb form
lives have become
show examples
 so hectic that they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough time to go library or buy
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
. People
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to reach
some
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 easiest way of leading life. Here, one can find
thousands
Add the preposition
thousands of
show examples
 blessings of
technology
Use synonyms
. Even, in aspects of reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
,
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or anything else. The online
news
Use synonyms
 became available just after the incident
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
instantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
 or other
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 available only day after morning. So, one
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to wait till the next morning if anyone wants to go through only with the existing source of reading.
Maximum
Change the article
A maximum
The maximum
show examples
 number of people use the smart or
android
Capitalize word
Android
show examples
 phone
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the reading culture more easy,
available
Correct quantifier usage
more available
show examples
 and less
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. Even one who is in
travelling
Correct article usage
a travelling
show examples
 mood
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
also
Linking Words
 have the
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to read online
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
,
pdf
Correct your spelling
PDF
show examples
magazines
Use synonyms
 or audio-visual
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 as all
contents
Correct article usage
the contents
show examples
 are available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different kinds of online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 like; facebook, online
news
Use synonyms
portal
Fix the agreement mistake
portals
show examples
,
Use synonyms
Ebook
Correct your spelling
E-books
 and many other different
Use synonyms
technology
Change to a plural noun
technologies
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several arguments can be traced that are opposed to the given statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 now, a significant number of readers love to read
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 or
magazines
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, online
news
Use synonyms
cover
Correct subject-verb agreement
covers
show examples
 only the headings but not the details
news
Use synonyms
 which
make
Verb problem
discourages
show examples
 many readers discourage to
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
Ebook
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many men believe that by avoiding the traditional culture of reading, men became robotic without empathy or sympathy that can only be improved into a human by reading
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
. That's why, still now they don't change their reading habit
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the technological
system
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the great man in the world became famous by reading their
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
system
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
perfectly
exemplified
Wrong verb form
exemplifies
show examples
 that, both
system
Use synonyms
 has
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own distinct value.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be said that, in the era of fierce competition, we can not ignore the
technolgical
Correct your spelling
technological
system
Use synonyms
 which will drop
you
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
behind. So,
Ebook
Use synonyms
,
pdf
Correct your spelling
PDF
show examples
 documents or audio
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reading will be a
blessings
Correct the article-noun agreement
blessing
show examples
 but not totally avoid the
newpaper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
newspapers
 or
magazines
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Though your essay demonstrates some level of logical structuring, it could benefit from clearer paragraphing to enhance flow and logic. Make sure to start new paragraphs for different ideas or arguments and transition between them smoothly for a more cohesive essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are presented, which is good. However, these could be strengthened by more clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your key arguments in the conclusion, ensuring it mirrors the information given in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some of your main points are supported, but to enrich your essay, include a mix of complex sentences and multiple examples to add depth to your arguments. It's imperative to dig deeper and elaborate on points rather than just stating them, as this provides a more convincing argument.
Task Achievement
While your essay addresses the topic, it fails to consistently express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Focus on clarifying your stance throughout the essay, ensuring that every paragraph conveys a distinct idea that relates to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
To improve your response, make sure your ideas are fully developed and not just superficially introduced. Spend time expanding each point with additional information, explanations, or data, which will make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Including relevant and specific examples can greatly strengthen your essay. Aim to integrate more varied and detailed illustrations to support your points, which can make your argument more impactful.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • eBooks
  • digital media
  • traditional newspapers
  • magazines
  • modern technology
  • replace
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • interactive features
  • environmental benefits
  • paper waste
  • news consumption habits
  • on-demand content
  • sentimental value
  • tactile experience
  • digital divide
  • misinformation
  • editorial standards
  • historical record
  • screen time
  • health impacts
  • media consumption
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