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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #age #population #iceland #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graph provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about different sets of age
groups
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2020 denoting the
population
Use synonyms
 of Iceland.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the histogram that
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 populace aged 55 to 64 and 65 to above had some minor fluctuations in the following years. The
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 25 to 54 had a steady growth from 1990 to
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the period.
However
Linking Words
,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 aged 15 to 24 and 0 to 14,
initially
Linking Words
 experienced a higher growth but declined continuously for the remaining set of years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1990 the
population
Use synonyms
 of 25-54 approximately had a peak of 30% which is considered to be the combination of forming both the age
groups
Use synonyms
 of 55 to 64 and 65 to over.
Moreover
Linking Words
, citizens aged between 15 to 24 and 0 to 14 managed to cross the percentage of above 20%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2000 they displayed
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
quite similar results in their rankings but made an improvement in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 numbers when compared to the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in 2010 the
people
Use synonyms
 aged 25-54 and 65-over were the only
groups
Use synonyms
 who had experienced some inclanation in their
population
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the figure made a drastic decrease in other sets of age
groups
Use synonyms
. Even though, at
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 25-54 made a significant rise in their 49% growth
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in other sets of
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 continued to decline a lot.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, population, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "sets" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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