The chart below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart depicts information about the proportion of participants of organizations in the respective

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

of 2008 and 2004.

Overall

Linking Words

, the number of environment and sport experienced upward trends

while

Linking Words

the figure of art, others and education commenced downward trends. Getting back to the details, in 2008 the

participant

Fix the agreement mistake

participants

show examples

for environment showed about 21 percent at the beginning and it

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

be climbed

Wrong verb form

climb

show examples

significantly in 2014

accounted

Wrong verb form

accounting

show examples

for almost a third.

In addition

Linking Words

, the same proportion showed by the

participant

Fix the agreement mistake

participants

show examples

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

which

begin

Wrong verb form

began

show examples

for about less than a fifth and

then

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

went up by 10%.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the figure of health care participants rose

merely

Change preposition

by merely

show examples

1 percent in 2014.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, clients for art and others witnessed

similar

Correct article usage

a similar

show examples

gap which

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

merely

Change preposition

apply

show examples

6% in 2014

while

Linking Words

the figure of people who participated in

educational

Replace the word

education

show examples

declined by 7%.

musa.nuwaTue Nov 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

144 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many people believe that learning is a lifelong process that goes beyond formal education. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Many people argue that studying is a long-term process that extends beyond formal education. Although academic education provides certain insights into learners' professions, it is clear that acquiring knowledge should be a lifelong endeavour.
7.5
band
Discuss both views & give your opinion essay, Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals think that parents are responsible for teaching children how to be good members of the community, however, others argue that it must be learned in school instead. I believe that both parties should be the source of excellent social behaviours of each child.
6.5
band
Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.
Some would argue that all teenagers should not have their own smartphones, and this is not good for kids, while others would say that a smartphone can provide some benefits. While smartphones can destroy teenagers' health, I believe that they result in teenagers exercising and becoming overweight.
7
band
Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this contemporary epoch, using technology is an essential topic to discuss and analyze at the same time that most people are interested in daily. In the recent time, this point is important. Otherwise, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of using technology for people.
7.5
band
Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today's digital age, there is ongoing debate about whether technology enhances or hinders students' learning experiences. While some believe it is an indispensable educational tool, others argue that it can negatively affect academic performance. In my view, technology plays a crucial role in education, provided that it is used wisely.

The chart below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.

Many people believe that learning is a lifelong process that goes beyond formal education. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Discuss both views & give your opinion essay, Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.