IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some think that some individuals are naturally good leaders while others think individuals can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #individuals #leaders #leadership #skills
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Few
people
 believe that individuals intrinsically have the trait to be good leaders when there are
other group
Change the wording
another group
other groups
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 of
people
 who
tell
Verb problem
say
show examples
 that leadership skills must be learned.
While
 common
people
 do have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own natural abilities that
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
 to attaining great leading qualities . I believe that humans have the capacity to work hard and absorb new techniques through experiences . Numerous living examples where they have had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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ideal
leading
Replace the word
leadership
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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,
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 run , taken care of and promoted many excellent programmes during
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 contingency are present.
This
is demands
Change the verb form
demands
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 innate qualities, that can be witnessed
in born
Correct your spelling
inborn
show examples
 leaders. For
examples
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example
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, I observe these traits in children of politicians, because they are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the in the kind of rearing environment since childhood which enhances
decesion making
Correct your spelling
decision-making
, and executive knowledge
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
.
On the other hand
, candidates who have had a formal education
,
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apply
show examples
 studied for the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
specific subject and had immersive involvement in the field were noted to be good.
This
 can bring new fresh minds into the pool of existing
similar minded
Add a hyphen
similar-minded
show examples
 peers.
For example
, A friend of mine was elected as the sub-committee head by a democratic vote. Young and old
people
 were able
identify
Add the particle
to identify
show examples
 him as he showcased himself in dire situations to
he
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 helpful. In conclusion,
although
 good leaders are inborn
in particular
 spaces, the underdog must not be ignored as they are quick to grab
on to
Correct your spelling
onto
show examples
 concepts and
implement
Correct pronoun usage
implement them
show examples
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Please ensure your introduction clearly states the views being discussed; avoid vague and general statements. Aim for a concise explanation of the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The main body paragraphs should each focus on discussing one view fully before moving onto the next. This helps with coherence and ensuring that each viewpoint is given adequate attention.
task achievement
Concrete, relevant examples should be provided to support the claims made about each viewpoint. Examples are critical to illustrate and reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. Avoid merging several ideas without clear transitions or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas, and to guide the reader through your argument. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the points made in the essay and reflects back on the introduction. Restate your opinion clearly in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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