IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? older buildings How can people research this? specific ways to find information on older buildings

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In some countries, there is a growing interest among
people
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 in tracing the
history
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 of their homes because they can find an emotional
connection
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 from understanding the historical information about the place they live. To research
this
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,
people
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 should find the source from a credible
internet
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 service. The reason why
people
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 nowadays are interested in finding an emotional
connection
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 from the
history
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 of the house is because a variety of historical buildings have been obviously removed from their living area.
As a result
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, more and more
people
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 find it hard to understand the background and the communities where they live and
then
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 feel a lack of emotional
connection
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.
For example
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, many older accommodations in
Taiwan
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 have been removed for constructing the skyscrapers.
This
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 caused a serious problem in that many meaningful historical buildings and their local communities disappeared from
people
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’s memories. Thanks to the
internet
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 nowadays, we can use it to find about every kind of historical data.
People
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 can easily access the
internet
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 to get useful historical information from some of the credible services.
For instance
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, one who lives in
Taiwan
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 can find great details of the historical background of their house by just clicking some buttons on the
Taiwan
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History
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 Museum’s official website, which is the most credible service in
Taiwan
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 that provides real historical research in fairy transparent details,
such
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 as years, lifestyles and cultures, or before and after pictures.
This
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 allows residents to rebuild the
connection
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 by understanding the
history
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 of their living area. In conclusion, the emotional
connection
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 is the reason
people
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 investigate the
history
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 of their home. To find the research, they should search the real information from credible services on the
internet
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical sequencing, and paragraphing could be significantly improved. It is essential to present your ideas in a more organized manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined and distinct from each other, offering an effective summary of the content and purpose of the essay as well as a clear closure, respectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
While main points are present, they are not adequately supported with sufficient development and explanation. You should aim to include more detailed support, such as concrete examples, statistics, or references to studies, which can enhance validity and engagement.
Task Achievement
The response is somewhat complete, but the development of ideas is minimal. Elaboration on points with more detailed discussion or analysis would strengthen the completeness of your response.
Task Achievement
Ideas and opinions are somewhat clear, but they lack the comprehensive depth and detailed understanding that would make them more persuasive. Aim to flesh out ideas with richer detail and a more nuanced viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Examples provided are relevant to the topic, but more specificity and detail would greatly enhance the essay. Drawing from a wider range of sources or cases could improve the strength of your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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