It is difficult for people to get enough physical exercise in cities. What are the causes and solutions?

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Exercise
is one of the most important
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
to maintain
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle.
However
, these days it is hard for
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of urban
people
to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
.
This
essay will discuss the
cause
of it and will provide the
soultions
Correct your spelling
solutions
solution
for the problem.
People
that live in cities mostly have a hectic life and
this
might be one of the
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
that lead
people
to have no
time
for
exercise
. The stress from
working
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the working
show examples
environment has caused them to feel tired and lack of energy to do that activity again in their daily lives.
Moreover
,
due to
their job demand, most
of
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apply
show examples
urban
people
also
spent
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spend
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most of their
time
sitting down in front of computers which
further
lessen
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lessens
show examples
their physical movements.
For example
, Jobs like programming or data analytics
which
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apply
show examples
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
a lot of
time
in front of the screen and
cause
the employees to sit most of their
time
.
This
kind of working environment and their surrounding
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cause
them to have a hard
time
to get
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getting
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
exercise
. The
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem is to enhance the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
exercise
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
in the working environments. Not only
this
will help to save
time
but
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be a
motivations
Correct the article-noun agreement
motivation
show examples
for those
people
to
workout
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
.
For example
, in Blibli company, there is a mini gym available for all employees to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
and
this
also
can
further
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
.
Furthermore
, employers can
also
remind their employees
for
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apply
show examples
not
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
most of their
time
sitting but
also
need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to move around after certain periods.
This
will at least help to increase the physical movements throughout the day.
To Conclude
, Having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
exercise
is crucial to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
a healthy lifestyle but some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
due to
their hectic
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
or working conditions might caused them unable to
exercise
.
However
,
this
can be prevented by providing more accessible
exercise
facilities and a reminder of the importance
to move
Change preposition
of moving
show examples
around.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, yet to attain a higher score, you must ensure that each encompasses a comprehensive summary of your arguments and reflects the prompt's requirements more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are supported, but it's pivotal to refine them with more elaboration and detailed examples, which contribute to the overall argument and provide a deeper understanding for the reader.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear, but for an enhanced score, they must be expanded with a more comprehensive explanation and greater depth, displaying a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Though your essay includes examples, to move towards a higher band score, these examples should be more specific, directly relevant, and detailed, effectively illustrating the claims made in your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban lifestyle
  • Sedentary jobs
  • Physical activity/exercise
  • Motorized transport
  • Cycling
  • High density living
  • Recreational facilities
  • Time constraints
  • Commuting
  • Unhealthy food options
  • Public awareness
  • Health and well-being
  • Active transportation
  • Infrastructure improvements
  • Workplace initiatives
  • Community events
  • Incentives
  • Gym memberships
  • Wellness programs
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