In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional complementary forms of medicines’ are now widely known and used. The effectiveness of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, Biomedicine and customary medicine
has
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have
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spread widely. The effect of the use is controlled by the sick person’s mental stability. I strongly agree that the outcomes of medicine totally depend on the
patients
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patient's
patients'
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approach.
Firstly
, the person who is sick has to trust in any form of medication that
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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are receiving. When a
patient
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patient's
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mind tells them that the pills they are taking can heal them, it is registered in their brains.
For example
, when medications
such
as pills are being sold, they have a clear picture of how fast the healing will take place, by so doing
this
it gives a clear overview of the mechanism of the treatment.
Therefore
the effectiveness is determined by the
brains
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brain
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.
Secondly
, the more
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people give
feedbacks
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feedback
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on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional medicine the more we humans consider it helpful. When
couple
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a couple
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of individuals
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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a
Remove the article
apply
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clear feedback towards certain methods of treatment, it gives patients a heads-up.
For instance
, the study of Malawi
university
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University
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showed that traditional methods mainly
allows
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allow
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views before proceeding and by doing
this
it builds confidence and trust. For that reason, it is the victim’s point of view that helps with the recovery. In conclusion,
humans
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humans'
human's
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attitude towards any approach of medications
gives
Verb problem
has
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an effect towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recovery,
therefore
l strongly agree.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, and that each paragraph focuses on a single central idea to improve logical structure.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and a conclusion are present, they need to be more elaborately developed to guide the reader smoothly through the discussion. Make sure these paragraphs clearly establish and summarize your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your main points with more comprehensive explanations and develop your ideas fully to address the question more effectively. Avoid overly simplistic statements.
task achievement
Your response only partially addresses the task. Be sure to fully answer all parts of the prompt, including the extent to which you agree and why.
task achievement
To improve clarity, work on organizing your ideas more logically and expand on them to show a deep understanding of the topic. Avoid repetition and focus on creating well-supported arguments.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples to strengthen your main points. Make sure the examples are specific and accurately support your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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