In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
It is argued that
although
there are agricultural advances, increasing
number of Correct article usage
an increasing
individuals
still suffering from hunger. The main reason for this
is an increase in population and some people
are unable to afford products, and the most viable solution is to encourage people
not to waste
.
Every year there are more and more people
in the world. So, more people
need to be fed, and since most of the crops only can be produced in a specific season, the demand exceeds the supply, then
, there is still a shortage of food
produced. Another reason,
is that prices of the products are increasing significantly. Remove the comma
apply
This
is because because of the economic situation of the nations. This
causes that family with low-income
Correct your spelling
low income
are
unable to afford basic products. Change the verb form
to be
For example
, from 2021 to 2022, prices in
Change preposition
of
food
in Spain increased by approximately 31%, but the annual earnings of the citizens didn't increased
, Change the verb form
increase
instead
, some sectors' salaries decreased.
To tackle this
problem, government and different people
should encourage others not to waste
. This
is because some individuals
do not realize what throwing food
away can cause. So, telling people
about the consequences, how many lives they could safe
by not wasting, and the large number of Replace the word
save
people
who do not have food
to eat. this
can make people
to
reduce the excessive purchase of Change the verb form
apply
food
. For instance
, in some European countries
there are campaigns, which tell Add a comma
countries,
people
about how many individuals
do not have anything to eat and how to help them, this
resulted in a reduction of food
waste
by 22%,
and Remove the comma
apply
increasing
amount of Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
food
donation in charities.
In conclusion, the reason why there are still a large number of people
suffering from hunger is that there are some individuals
that
do not have money to afford Correct pronoun usage
who
food
and the
increasing Change preposition
with the
world's
population, the best solution is to encourage Change noun form
world
people
to not waste
food
.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs logically follow one another and that ideas are not only presented, but also explained and expanded upon for clearer understanding. Focus on transitions between ideas for smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction, restate the prompt to establish your understanding of the question. Make sure that the conclusion summarizes the main points and reiterates the answer to the question. Both introduction and conclusion need to be clearly defined.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This includes citing specific studies, statistics, or factual information to add weight to your arguments and to make your points more persuasive.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, providing a complete response with a clear position throughout the essay. Expand on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and fully developed.
task achievement
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to express ideas more precisely and to make your essay more comprehensive, whilst ensuring clarity is maintained.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples specific to the question to support your arguments. Examples should be precise and clearly linked to the points being made.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite