In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

It is argued that
although
there are agricultural advances,
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
number of
individuals
still suffering from hunger. The main reason for
this
is an increase in population and some
people
are unable to afford products, and the most viable solution is to encourage
people
not to
waste
. Every year there are more and more
people
in the world. So, more
people
need to be fed, and since most of the crops only can be produced in a specific season, the demand exceeds the supply,
then
, there is still a shortage of
food
produced. Another reason
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is that prices of the products are increasing significantly.
This
is because because of the economic situation of the nations.
This
causes that family with
low-income
Correct your spelling
low income
show examples
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
unable to afford basic products.
For example
, from 2021 to 2022, prices
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
food
in Spain increased by approximately 31%, but the annual earnings of the citizens didn't
increased
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
,
instead
, some sectors' salaries decreased. To tackle
this
problem, government and different
people
should encourage others not to
waste
.
This
is because some
individuals
do not realize what throwing
food
away can cause. So, telling
people
about the consequences, how many lives they could
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
by not wasting, and the large number of
people
who do not have
food
to eat.
this
can make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
reduce the excessive purchase of
food
.
For instance
, in some European
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
there are campaigns, which tell
people
about how many
individuals
do not have anything to eat and how to help them,
this
resulted in a reduction of
food
waste
by 22%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
show examples
amount of
food
donation in charities. In conclusion, the reason why there are still a large number of
people
suffering from hunger is that there are some
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do not have money to afford
food
and
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
increasing
world's
Change noun form
world
show examples
population, the best solution is to encourage
people
to not
waste
food
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs logically follow one another and that ideas are not only presented, but also explained and expanded upon for clearer understanding. Focus on transitions between ideas for smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction, restate the prompt to establish your understanding of the question. Make sure that the conclusion summarizes the main points and reiterates the answer to the question. Both introduction and conclusion need to be clearly defined.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This includes citing specific studies, statistics, or factual information to add weight to your arguments and to make your points more persuasive.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, providing a complete response with a clear position throughout the essay. Expand on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and fully developed.
task achievement
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to express ideas more precisely and to make your essay more comprehensive, whilst ensuring clarity is maintained.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples specific to the question to support your arguments. Examples should be precise and clearly linked to the points being made.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: