IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line charts represent the washing
machine
Use synonyms
,
refrigator
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
, and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner change in ownership and how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 time
have been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 spent in
Use synonyms
household
Add an article
the household
show examples
 doing
housework
Use synonyms
 in a specific country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three electrical products experienced an upward
trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
trend
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 over the years. The
refrigator
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the lowest point apart from the other two, which is no one individuals
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 that thing in 1920,
whereas
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same year, two-fifths of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 used
Use synonyms
Add an article
the machine
a machine
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 to wash clothes and nearly a third of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
vacuum
Add an article
the vacuum
a vacuum
show examples
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the washing
machine
Use synonyms
,
refrigator
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
, and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner almost met
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same ratio in 1940 with 60%, just over a half, and 50%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zero of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 have
box
Add an article
a box
the box
show examples
 for freezing,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ownership surged tremendously over the years and reached its peak at 100% of
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of households in 2019, aligned with the
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner that
also
Linking Words
 climbed significantly.
However
Linking Words
, where
washing
Add an article
the washing
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 was
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest ownership before, it was have fluctuated condition before
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 moderately at around 73%. Turning to
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the time
have been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
housework
Use synonyms
, which accounted for 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
;
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the chart
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 drastically to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1960.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was
climb
Correct article usage
a climb
show examples
 slightly in 2000 at around 16
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 diminished nineteenth years later at 10
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 per
household
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by heyyo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, vacuum, household, housework, hours, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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