IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
The pie chart shows the spending on housing, transport,
food
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,
health
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care
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, and other
goods
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 and
services
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 in two main countries namely Japan as well Malaysia in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010. The data has been calibrated in terms of percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the highest
amount
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 was spent on other
goods
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 and
services
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 and on
food
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.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the least
amount
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 of
money
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 was invested
on
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in
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health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 in the given time period.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, Japan
residence
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residents
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 invest 29% of
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money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
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on
Change preposition
in
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 other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
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. Followed by 24% on
food
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people spent
least
Change the article
the least
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amount
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 of expenditure on
health
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care
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there was a minor difference of 1% between the spending
of
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on
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 housing and transport in 2010. Moving
further
Linking Words
, 34% of
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money
Add an article
the money
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was invest
Change the verb form
was invested
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 in housing by
Malaysia
Replace the word
Malaysian
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 citizens.
Thus
Linking Words
, the lowest
amount
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 was spent on
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Add an article
the health
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health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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care
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 sector.
However
Linking Words
,
second
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the second
show examples
 highest proportion of
money
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 was spent on
food
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as well as
Linking Words
 other
goods
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 and
services
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, health, care, goods, services, amount, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average spending
  • housing expenditures
  • transport costs
  • consumption habits
  • health care budget
  • goods and services
  • economic factors
  • cultural influences
  • urban vs rural spending
  • disposable income
  • financial priorities
  • significant discrepancies
  • budget allocation
  • grocery bills
  • comparative analysis
  • fiscal management
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