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Band 3

Nowdays many students have the opportunity to study some or all of their course in a foreign country. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#nowdays #students #opportunity #study #course #country
Today, in the world nothing is impossible. sometimes the thinking of cultures is different from other cultures. Some people can rely on offspring to accomplish everything
while
 others can not. In
this
 essay, I will mention the advantages and disadvantages of making
children
 achieve everything. In the beginning, there are a lot of advantages
if
Change preposition
to
show examples
 making
children
 do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 in real life.
Firstly
, they make themselves self-reliant without the interference of others.
For example
, they become more capable of accomplishing things and
this
 makes
children
 stronger.
Secondly
, by relying on kids to achieve work or anything, their knowledge and thinking will be improved because their awareness and skills will increase and know how to deal with
a certain situations
Correct the article-noun agreement
certain situations
a certain situation
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are many negatives. The
children
 can make many mistakes when the family is not supervising them.
For instance
, they could put themselves in danger because their mind is not yet fully developed.
In addition
, if making child chooses his or her opinion in life without discussing it with the family, in the future they can not control them. In conclusion, the thinking is different from comity to another.
Children
 could achieve or help
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 but need to control and monitor them.
Also
, give them a chance to learn and apply
Submitted by maltobi08 on

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task achievement
Ensure you address the specific topic of the essay question and maintain focus on discussing the advantages and disadvantages related to studying in a foreign country.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully with clear examples that are specifically relevant to the essay question, rather than speaking generally about children gaining life experience.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay clearly with an introduction that paraphrases the prompt, body paragraphs that each contain one main idea with supporting details, and a clear conclusion that summarizes your argument and answers the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas appropriately within and between paragraphs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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