Nowdays many students have the opportunity to study some or all of their course in a foreign country. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#nowdays #students #opportunity #study #course #country

Today, in the world nothing is impossible. sometimes the thinking of cultures is different from other cultures. Some people can rely on offspring to accomplish everything

while

others can not. In

this

essay, I will mention the advantages and disadvantages of making

children

achieve everything. In the beginning, there are a lot of advantages

Change preposition

show examples

making

children

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

some

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

in real life.

Firstly

, they make themselves self-reliant without the interference of others.

For example

, they become more capable of accomplishing things and

this

makes

children

stronger.

Secondly

, by relying on kids to achieve work or anything, their knowledge and thinking will be improved because their awareness and skills will increase and know how to deal with

a certain situations

Correct the article-noun agreement

certain situations

a certain situation

show examples

On the other hand

, there are many negatives. The

children

can make many mistakes when the family is not supervising them.

For instance

, they could put themselves in danger because their mind is not yet fully developed.

In addition

, if making child chooses his or her opinion in life without discussing it with the family, in the future they can not control them. In conclusion, the thinking is different from comity to another.

Children

could achieve or help

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

but need to control and monitor them.

Also

, give them a chance to learn and apply

Submitted by maltobi08 on Wed Nov 22 2023

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task achievement

Ensure you address the specific topic of the essay question and maintain focus on discussing the advantages and disadvantages related to studying in a foreign country.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully with clear examples that are specifically relevant to the essay question, rather than speaking generally about children gaining life experience.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay clearly with an introduction that paraphrases the prompt, body paragraphs that each contain one main idea with supporting details, and a clear conclusion that summarizes your argument and answers the essay question.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas appropriately within and between paragraphs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowdays many students have the opportunity to study some or all of their course in a foreign country. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Word Count

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance?