Some people think that an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some
people
consider that car-free
days
effectively decrease the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution
, while
others think there are other actions which are more impactful for minimalizing this
global issue. In my opinion, I believe that both argument
have Change to a plural noun
arguments
positive
impact Add an article
a positive
for
reducing Change preposition
on
air
pollution
, so these two methods should be combined.
On the one hand, one group of people
reckon that car-free
days
which is
usually held Correct subject-verb agreement
are
in
the weekend could reduce Change preposition
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution
. It is supported by a
research that was conducted in 2022 by Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the Environtmental
Environtmental
Department, University of Indonesia and the result showed that six hours Correct your spelling
Environmental
car-free
Change preposition
of car-free
days
each weekend could reduce weekly air
pollution
approximately
10%. Change preposition
by approximately
Furthurmore
, the availability of fresh Correct your spelling
Furthermore
air
that they get during those times, will increase the awearness
and motivation Correct your spelling
awareness
people
to reduce the use of Change preposition
of people
vehicles
.
On the other hand
, some people
think that using electric vehicles
and public transportations
are more effective Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution
rather
than weekly Rephrase
apply
car-free
days
event, especialy
Carbon dioxide. In fact, electric cars produce less emission Correct your spelling
especially
compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
the
fossil fuel Correct article usage
apply
vehicles
which are the biggest source of Carbon dioxide. Moreover
, using public transportations
, Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
such
as city buses and trains could increase the number of vehicles
which will give
Verb problem
have
direct
Correct article usage
a direct
positif
effect Correct your spelling
positive
to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution
. For example
, a trans Jakarta bus - public city buses that are connected each
other - could transport 20 Change preposition
to each
people
in
one time Change preposition
at
it
means it will dramatically decrease the Correct pronoun usage
which
car
that are used daily.
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
To sum up
, car-free
days
, electric cars, and public transportations
are effective Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
to
Change preposition
in
decline
Carbon dioxide and I believe combining all these ways will give a better result. Verb problem
decreasing
However
, people
should aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
and
participate Change preposition
of and
this
concept Change preposition
in this
for reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
air
pollution
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
There is a viable attempt to address all parts of the prompt, though the development of ideas is quite general and lacks depth.
task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the response and avoid contradictions. Strengthen the argument with more specific examples and details.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of information and ideas is evident but can be enhanced with better paragraphing and more varied cohesion devices.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and satisfactory, however, they could be more compelling with better thesis and summary statements.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with stronger and specific evidence to bolster the argument and make it more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
