The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping
sales
for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
It is clear that
online sales
in 2005 and 2010 have almost the same percentages in each section. For example
, in 2005, 35 percent
of electronics and home appliances were sold, but in 2010 they fell by five Change the spelling
per cent
percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
Also
, sales
of home furnishings was
fell down by just under a quarter. There Unnecessary verb
apply
also
some boosts here. In 2005, Add a missing verb
are also
sales
of video games were eighteen percent
and in 2010 it was up to 23%. Furthermore
, twenty two
Add a hyphen
twenty-two
percent
of foods and beverages were sold in 2005 and then
they increased by 10 percent
. In 2010, sales
of foods
were 32 Fix the agreement mistake
food
percent
.
In the
conclusion, I can say that online Correct article usage
apply
sales
in Canada have their ups and downs.Submitted by dnm.best on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼