The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

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These

Correct determiner usage

The

show examples

pie charts below illustrate the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada between 2005 and 2010. In general, all 4 retail sectors had an amazing percentage during

these year

Change the determiner

this year

these years

show examples

. They are

Remove the comma

apply

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Electronics & Appliance, Food & Beverage, Home Furnishings, Video Games. Electronics and Appliance had

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just over a third by 2005,

while

Linking Words

in 2010 had 30%. Video Games in 2005 had 18% and in 2010 had 23%.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

Home Furnishings and Food & Beverage had

Correct article usage

a 10

show examples

% difference between 2005 and 2010. In 2005 Home Furnishings had 25%, but in 2010 significantly went down to a tiny minority.

However

Linking Words

, Food & Beverage had 25%, over time it had

steady

Add an article

a steady

show examples

rise to just over a third

dnm.bestWed Nov 22 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

117 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail sectors
online shopping sales
significant growth/decline
consumer behavior
market trends
economic factors
technological advancements
sales percentages
emerged
evolution
notable
constancies

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The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer.

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles price. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Many people say that we now live in ‘consumer societies’ where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that consumer culture has played a vital role in improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.