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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In some countries owning a
house
 is more important for people than renting it. In my opinion, it's a positive thing to own a
house
 because of different reasons. First of all, to have a home is better for most people. Because
,
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 they will be more comfortable and is better for their future kids. They will have more privacy and they can design their own
apartment
 and live inside the
house
 as much as they want . Basically, when they own
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
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, they are not worried about how they want to pay the bills .
For instance
, We have a place that we live in and we don’t think about the rent or any other things and I'm so comfortable
,
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because I can invite my friends and we can be loud as much as we can and no one can tell us anything. To own
a
Change the article
an
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apartment
 in my opinion is a positive thing. Because
,
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 there is no more rented
apartment
 and we can be relaxed in our own place in a way that landlord will force us to move out.
This
 is a positive thing since we are free to do whatever we want. We are allowed to change anything we wish;
hence
, we can be more comfortable.
For example
, my family and I have recently re-designed our home without being concerned about its expenses or moving out of it one day.
This
 perspective has made us confident and calm and paved the way to do it. In conclusion, a number of individuals would rather buy a
house
 than rent it in light of a variety of reasons which could be positive and beneficial to some extent.
Submitted by mahshidmirzaei2016 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint to provide a roadmap for your essay. This helps readers understand your position from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a logical flow throughout your essay, making use of cohesive devices like linking words and paragraph transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and make your ideas more convincing to the reader.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task questions to provide a complete response, ensuring that your essay discusses why owning a home is important to people and if it is a positive or negative trend.
task achievement
Aim to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively, with well-developed explanations and examples that demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to communicate your ideas effectively and demonstrate a higher level of English language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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