The pie charts show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
The pie charts show data on the
electricity
production from fuel sources in
Australia
and in France in 1980 and 2000.
Firstly
, let's talk about
1980
Correct article usage
the 1980
show examples
comparison. The Pearl of the Oceania (
Australia
) produced 100
units
of
electricity
. Coal was the main
source
of
electricity
production in
Australia
, 50 out of 100
units
. Yet, the oil
source
was only 10 out of 100
units
and if we count Hydro
Power
with Natural Gas together it comes out to 40 out of 100
units
,
while
France produced 90
units
and used more options of
power
source
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
1/3 of the
source
was coal, another 1/3 was natural gas and etc.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in 2000,
Australia
started to produce more
units
of
electricity
, they went from 100 to 170
units
. Coal almost tripled from 50
units
to 130, meanwhile, the Oil and Natural gas consumption was reduced to 4 out of 170
units
and Hydro
Power
went from 20 to 36 out of 170. Turning to fuel sources in France
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
, we see that the former empire of colonialism has doubled the
units
of
electricity
production. From 90 to 180
units
.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
,
they're
Correct your spelling
they've
show examples
replaced
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
source
of
electricity
, from 50
units
of Oil and Coal to 126
units
of Nuclear
Power
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, units, source, power with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
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