IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts show data on the
electricity
 production from fuel sources in
Australia
 and in France in 1980 and 2000.
Firstly
, let's talk about
1980
Correct article usage
the 1980
show examples
 comparison. The Pearl of the Oceania (
Australia
) produced 100
units
 of
electricity
. Coal was the main
source
 of
electricity
 production in
Australia
, 50 out of 100
units
. Yet, the oil
source
 was only 10 out of 100
units
 and if we count Hydro
Power
 with Natural Gas together it comes out to 40 out of 100
units
,
while
 France produced 90
units
 and used more options of
power
source
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 1/3 of the
source
 was coal, another 1/3 was natural gas and etc.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in 2000,
Australia
 started to produce more
units
 of
electricity
, they went from 100 to 170
units
. Coal almost tripled from 50
units
 to 130, meanwhile, the Oil and Natural gas consumption was reduced to 4 out of 170
units
 and Hydro
Power
 went from 20 to 36 out of 170. Turning to fuel sources in France
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
, we see that the former empire of colonialism has doubled the
units
 of
electricity
 production. From 90 to 180
units
.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
,
they're
Correct your spelling
they've
show examples
 replaced
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
source
 of
electricity
, from 50
units
 of Oil and Coal to 126
units
 of Nuclear
Power
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, units, source, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: