The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?
Global
information
has been wide openly
as long as the Replace the word
open for
rapidly
of Change the word
rapid
internet
technology
. Everyone could used
the Change the verb form
use
information
for good and adversity either. This
essay will discuss about
the worst problem that could happen with Remove the preposition
apply
internet
and how to solve it Correct article usage
the internet
in
my point of view.
On the one hand, privacy Change preposition
from
data
were collecting
by Wrong verb form
collected
Add an article
the company
a company
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
with
Change preposition
for
the
nice reason: Correct article usage
a
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
easier
way to Add an article
an easier
Add an article
the consumer
consumer
. Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
For example
, train company
in Indonesia want to Fix the agreement mistake
companies
shorter
Replace the word
shorten
consumer
time on entry gate
, for the updates they choose face recognition Fix the agreement mistake
gates
technology
that would be
just Verb problem
take
few
seconds for Change the article
a few
consumer
to Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
entry
the gate. Replace the word
enter
However
, face recognition technology
couldn’t be applied without the registering data
of consumer
directly. Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
However
, it was hard to applying
the Change the form of the verb
apply
technology
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
of
unbelievable Indonesian Change preposition
on
people
digital Change noun form
people's
data
since someone sell
the Wrong verb form
sold
data
that information
minister Correct article usage
the information
were
collecting to Correct subject-verb agreement
was
internet
.
There are Add an article
the internet
data
that
used for finance Correct pronoun usage
apply
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
such
as debt (loan) application
. When someone Fix the agreement mistake
applications
want
to ask Change the verb form
wants
debt
from Change preposition
for debt
finance
company, they must Add an article
a finance
the finance
providing
some specific Change the verb form
provide
be providing
information
for validation. Besides
privacy data
were distributing
easily Wrong verb form
distributed
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
internet
, Correct article usage
the internet
everyone
could make debt Correct word choice
and everyone
appliance
with other Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
people
Change noun form
people's
data
. Therefore
, nowdays
somebody could make Correct the word
nowadays
a fake evidence
for Remove the article
fake evidence
a piece of fake evidence
a shred of fake evidence
criminal
situation with artificial Correct article usage
a criminal
intelegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
technology
that couldn’t be developing
if there aren’t Wrong verb form
developed
privacy
Replace the word
private
data
was collected. It could make innocent people
got
Correct your spelling
go
in
jail for something they did not do. And when society does not believe Change preposition
to
with
Change preposition
in
law
, it could make society chaos.
In conclusion, education Correct article usage
the law
of
cybersecurity must be Change preposition
on
spreading
throughout society. Wrong verb form
spread
However
Add a comma
However,
people
was conscious about
Change preposition
of
overshared
of their Correct article usage
the overshared
data
, on various sector industry
will Change preposition
of industry
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
technology
to supporting
Wrong verb form
support
consumer
needs.Submitted by assakrhn on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear, coherent structure. Introduce clear paragraphing with each paragraph centered on a single main idea. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking devices and transitions for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should outline your main points and the conclusion should summarize your argument, without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Back up your points with clear examples or explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea.
task achievement
The response is incomplete and often hard to follow due to grammatical inaccuracies and unclear expression. Ensure that your response fully answers the question by addressing all parts of the task and providing developed arguments.
task achievement
Use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures to clearly communicate your ideas. Work on improving your grammatical range and accuracy for clearer expression.
task achievement
Include specific, relevant examples to illustrate your points. Make sure that your examples are on topic and strengthen your argument.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...