IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Turning into an adult from a
Replace the word
teenager
show examples
teenage
Replace the word
teenager
show examples
 requires some stages
such
Linking Words
 as building a character or creating
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
. At
this
Linking Words
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
 there comes a question to the minds: whether having
disagreement
Add an article
a disagreement
show examples
 with their families should be considered as a necessary of
maturing
Add an article
the maturing
show examples
 process for youngsters or
this
Linking Words
 should be accepted negative thing and should be avoided. It can be easily stated that having a conflict is
key
Add an article
a key
the key
show examples
 element for
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 to their personal
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
improvement
 since a disagreement may
incentive
Correct your spelling
incentivise
show examples
 young ones to think deeper as long as
this
Linking Words
procees
Correct your spelling
process
manages
Wrong verb form
is managed
show examples
 professionally by their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, a basic disagreement may lead to strain on
familys’
Correct your spelling
families’
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 face a debate with their
parents
Use synonyms
, they are likely to
treat
Wrong verb form
be treated
show examples
 as a
child
Use synonyms
 like their toddler times. Imagine
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a
boy
Use synonyms
 who wants to buy an
overprice
Change the verb form
overpriced
show examples
 game in order to show off his peers. If his family buy that game to make their
boy
Use synonyms
 happier, the
boy
Use synonyms
 will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
want
everythink
Correct your spelling
everything
 from his
parents
Use synonyms
 in his adult
life
Use synonyms
. But,
ıf
Correct your spelling
if
 his
parents
Use synonyms
reject
Verb problem
refuse
show examples
 to buy that game and support their son
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 saving his
money
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 explaining the reason why they reject
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving
money
Use synonyms
 instantly,
this
Linking Words
boy
Use synonyms
 can understand the value of saving
money
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, that
boy
Use synonyms
 may build a reasonable understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 saving
money
Use synonyms
 in
his
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
Additionally
Linking Words
, having everything easily may result in
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
 or even depression in their twenties.
To sum up
Linking Words
, one should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
always
remembered
Wrong verb form
remember
show examples
 that
parents
Use synonyms
 should focus
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 children’s
life
Use synonyms
 understanding
instead
Linking Words
 of their
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
 happiness.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should be sensitive
while
Linking Words
 rejecting their
child
Use synonyms
’s
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
. Considering
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 may be fragile
due to
Linking Words
 their hormonal imbalance, they can easily
seen
Change the verb form
see
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 emotionally far away from themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
feel
Replace the word
feeling
show examples
 may lead to a sense of
resentlment
Correct your spelling
resentment
 and unsatisfied in their future
life
Use synonyms
. It is because, if a
child
Use synonyms
 can not take enough care and love from their
parents
Use synonyms
, they can not construct
well balanced
Add a hyphen
well-balanced
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 understanding.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they may feel
traumatizied
Correct your spelling
traumatised
 in their whole
life
Use synonyms
. To wrap up, one should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 in
minds
Fix the agreement mistake
mind
show examples
 that
while
Linking Words
 not giving everything to the children is crucial in order to
raising
Change the verb
raise
show examples
 reasonable adults, the method of rejection should be planned wisely to not hurt their feelings.
To conclude
Linking Words
, when all the things
taken
Add a missing verb
are taken
show examples
 into
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
account a conflict should be
acknowleded
Correct your spelling
acknowledged
 as an essential factor for raising a
child
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, if
a
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
child
Use synonyms
 can take everything,
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they want, with minimum effort, they are likely to suffer from depression in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future
life
Use synonyms
. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
true communication methods,
parents
Use synonyms
 should accept the importance of a conflict between
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
 and their
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing clear, well-developed ideas relevant to the prompt. Ensure that you offer an adequate introduction and conclusion to frame your essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Focus on logically organizing your essay with clear paragraphing and appropriate use of cohesive devices to ensure coherence throughout the text.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adolescence
  • Parental control
  • Independence
  • Identity
  • Communication skills
  • Negotiation
  • Express themselves
  • Articulating thoughts
  • Disagreement
  • Resilience
  • Cope with conflict
  • Parent-child relationship
  • Emotional rifts
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Isolation
  • Guidance
  • Boundaries
  • Constructive conflict
What to do next:
Look at other essays: