It is better for young adults to move away from their family home than to continue to live with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that living with your parents when you are a young adult can be a debatable subject.

While

it is a commonly held belief that some individuals think that moving away from their family home is better for young

adults

. there is

also

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that Moving away can sometimes be essential to pursuing certain career paths or educational opportunities that are not available in one's hometown.

To begin

with, Young

adults

moving out can help prompt independence.

In other words

, they can learn to manage their finances, cook, clean, and solve problems on their own, leading to personal growth.

In addition

, it can assist in elevating their sense of responsibility.

For example

, Living away from family requires young

adults

to take on responsibilities which can prepare them for future challenges in work and personal life. Another point to consider, it gives them the opportunity to develop and enhance their social skills. It is

also

possible to say that, interacting with a diverse range of people,

such

as roommates or neighbours, can enhance communication and interpersonal skills.

Moreover

, it helps in increasing their privacy and autonomy.

For instance

, Moving out provides young

adults

with the space to make their own decisions and live life

according to

their own rules. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that moving away from their family home is better for young

adults

because it gives them independence and autonomy, I suggest that parents help their children in

this

part of life.

Submitted by abdelaah.12 on Wed Nov 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows some organizational structure, but the ideas could be more clearly sequenced and connected. Try to enhance your essay's logical structure through more effective use of paragraphing and better transitions between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are either missing or not clearly distinguishable. It is important to have a clear introductory paragraph stating your main topic and a concluding paragraph summarizing your views and restating your main points.

coherence cohesion

The main points are somewhat supported, but the arguments could be developed further. Include more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

You have addressed the task but only provided a partially complete response to the prompt. Expand on your ideas further to fully answer all parts of the question.

task achievement

Although your ideas on the topic are evident, they would benefit from being expressed more comprehensively. Clarify and develop your points further to convey a stronger argument.

task achievement

Your use of examples is a good start, but they need to be more specific and relevant to the topic. Be sure to illustrate your points with precise examples to more effectively support your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal growth
Financial independence
Problem-solving skills
Responsibilities
Interpersonal skills
Autonomy
Social network
Support system
Living expenses
Emotional resilience
Professional development
Educational pursuits

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It is better for young adults to move away from their family home than to continue to live with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government should spend on medical facilities whereas other people think that investing on transport is necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.