It is better for young adults to move away from their family home than to continue to live with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that living with your parents when you are a young adult can be a debatable subject.
While
it is a commonly held belief that some individuals think that moving away from their family home is better for young Linking Words
adults
. there is Use synonyms
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that Moving away can sometimes be essential to pursuing certain career paths or educational opportunities that are not available in one's hometown.
Linking Words
To begin
with, Young Linking Words
adults
moving out can help prompt independence. Use synonyms
In other words
, they can learn to manage their finances, cook, clean, and solve problems on their own, leading to personal growth. Linking Words
In addition
, it can assist in elevating their sense of responsibility. Linking Words
For example
, Living away from family requires young Linking Words
adults
to take on responsibilities which can prepare them for future challenges in work and personal life.
Another point to consider, it gives them the opportunity to develop and enhance their social skills. It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that, interacting with a diverse range of people, Linking Words
such
as roommates or neighbours, can enhance communication and interpersonal skills. Linking Words
Moreover
, it helps in increasing their privacy and autonomy. Linking Words
For instance
, Moving out provides young Linking Words
adults
with the space to make their own decisions and live life Use synonyms
according to
their own rules.
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that moving away from their family home is better for young Linking Words
adults
because it gives them independence and autonomy, I suggest that parents help their children in Use synonyms
this
part of life.Linking Words
Submitted by abdelaah.12 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some organizational structure, but the ideas could be more clearly sequenced and connected. Try to enhance your essay's logical structure through more effective use of paragraphing and better transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are either missing or not clearly distinguishable. It is important to have a clear introductory paragraph stating your main topic and a concluding paragraph summarizing your views and restating your main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are somewhat supported, but the arguments could be developed further. Include more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task but only provided a partially complete response to the prompt. Expand on your ideas further to fully answer all parts of the question.
task achievement
Although your ideas on the topic are evident, they would benefit from being expressed more comprehensively. Clarify and develop your points further to convey a stronger argument.
task achievement
Your use of examples is a good start, but they need to be more specific and relevant to the topic. Be sure to illustrate your points with precise examples to more effectively support your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.