IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The dia gram bellow shows the proscess of coca bean s.Write a university report fo proessing coca beans

#dia #gram #bellow #proscess #coca #bean #university #report #fo #beans
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The diagram illustrates how
coaca
Correct your spelling
coca
cocoa
coach
beans
Use synonyms
 are processed for consumption
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the manufacturing process of
coca
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beans
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 consists of different stages and a number of different tools from picking up
coca
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beans
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 to consumption or
induatrial
Correct your spelling
industrial
 use. In the
frist
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first
 stage
coca
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beans
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ar
Correct your spelling
are
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 picked up by the farmers. After that, they removed the shells from
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the coca
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coca
Correct your spelling
cocoa
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beans
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.
Further
Linking Words
, they go for drying and processing sections. In the 2n stage , there are two different stages
such
Linking Words
 as
further
Linking Words
 pressing and
further
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 refining. In
further
Linking Words
 pressing section we can notice that
coca
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 cake is made . After grinding
coca
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 powder and
coca
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 liquor are produced.
Next,
Linking Words
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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is used
Wrong verb form
use
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coca
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 powder
while
Linking Words
coca
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 liquar is issued for industrial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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.
On the other hand
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, industrial
choclate
Correct your spelling
chocolate
is go
Change the verb form
is gone
is going
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 for final processing.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
consume
Replace the word
consumers
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 ca
Submitted by modudahmedamzad on

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introduction conclusion present
The response fails to provide a clear overview of all the stages involved in the process, and the conclusion is incomplete. Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points effectively.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is poor, with an unclear progression of ideas and stages. Consider using a more systematic approach to describe each stage in logical order, ensuring the use of linking words to connect ideas.
supported main points
Support for the main points is weak and lacks detail. Expand on each step of the process with more specific information, and consider including examples or data to illustrate points where relevant.
complete response
The response fails to fully address the requirements of the task as it leaves the description of the process incomplete and does not cover all the stages. Be sure to describe every step outlined in the illustration provided.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay lacks clarity and comprehensive detail in presenting ideas. Strive to articulate the process clearly and provide a thorough explanation of how coca beans are turned into final products.
relevant specific examples
The use of relevant and specific examples is lacking, weakening the response. Incorporate examples or additional information about each stage of the process to enhance understanding and interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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