Some people believe that professional such as, doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Other believe that they should be free to work in the other countries

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Whilst many people notion that
professionals
Use synonyms
owe a debt to the country they trained in, I believe they should be free to choose to work in which country they want to work in as they can make more money. On one hand,
professionals
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often
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
considerable funds from the government to become fully qualified. So it is only fair that
professionals
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repay that support by working in that country.
Specialist's
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Specialist
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skills are something that can really assist the nation to achieve productivity in the long term and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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invest in an area which has the potential to yield great returns.
For example
Linking Words
, The Pakistan government has
governmennt
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government
programmes supporting
indivisuals
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individuals
at their university level, who may in future be a doctor,
engineer
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engineers
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, or a scientist.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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every
indivisual
Correct your spelling
individual
should have the opportunity to pursue options they see their most benefit in.
To become
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Becoming
show examples
a professional in any field requires
time
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a time
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investment,
hardwork
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hard work
and resilience. And
so
Rephrase
apply
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they are only
few
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a few
show examples
of the people who
makes
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make
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
it that
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far in their career and so are highly demanded by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recruiters all over the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these
expert's
Fix the agreement mistake
experts'
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skills pay well and
professionals
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can touch peaks in their field of study by exploring,
going
Correct word choice
and going
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abroad for better jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, petroleum engineers can earn a considerable income working in
oil rich
Add a hyphen
oil-rich
show examples
countries
such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Saudi Arabia than staying in Europe. And so, I agree with the notion that
professionals
Use synonyms
should be free to take whatever path they want to. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there is
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
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amount of investment in a
Use synonyms
professionals
Change noun form
professional's
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development. they should have the right to choose whether to repay that by working in their home state or moving to somewhere
shich
Correct your spelling
which
pays them
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
value for their skills.
Submitted by irazalalji on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that both sides of the argument are presented equally to showcase a balanced view. Additionally, you should avoid expressions of personal belief ('I believe', 'And so, I agree with the notion') when the task does not ask for your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on clearer development of ideas with logical progression from one sentence to the next. Use more cohesive devices to enhance flow and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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