IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Task 1 The images below explains the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain. summarise the information by selecting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at the least 150 words.

#images #process #pollutants #life #acid #rain #pollutes #environment #food #chain #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram below shows how the pollution caused by humans, processed by acid rain, robs the soil which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 pollutants enter the
food
chain
.
This
 illustration shows the process from the creation of acid rain to its pollution of
Correct article usage
the humans
show examples
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
food
chain
. First of all, pollution is created
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 human activity like
for example
 their houses, transport, factories or power stations. These pollutants
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 exist
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different forms
such
 as carbon dioxide, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury and other compounds rise to the clouds.
Secondly
, the polluted clouds fly naturally to other regions or countries. As it rains the contaminated water falls in the environment.
This
 phenomenon, called “acid rain”,
Robb’s
Change noun form
floods
show examples
 the soil and pollutes the
chain
food
. The image illustrated how acid rain is created and how it
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 the
food
chain
.
Submitted by ionyourenglish on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. Sentences appear isolated and there are no clear connections or transitions between them, making it difficult to follow the sequence of the process being described.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they are insufficiently developed. The introduction should more effectively paraphrase the task and set the stage for what is to follow. The conclusion needs to succinctly summarize the process and main points or implications.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned however, they are not fully developed or supported with detail. Each step of the process should be clearly explained and related to the previous one to better guide the reader through the sequence.
task achievement
The response does not fully meet the requirements of the task. The language used does not clearly describe the process being depicted in the images, and the overall response lacks detailed explanations.
task achievement
Ideas are described but not expounded upon clearly and comprehensively. It is necessary to more precisely elaborate on how pollutants lead to acid rain and elucidate the subsequent effects on the environment and the food chain.
task achievement
The essay does not provide specific examples or data from the images given in the task, which is necessary to achieve a high score in task achievement. More attention to detail and incorporation of specific information from the images would improve the response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: