Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.
Nowaday
, studying abroad is no longer a strange concept to everyone. The number of people going abroad to study is increasing. There are many mixed opinions surrounding Correct your spelling
Nowadays
this
trend. However
, I still believe that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
with, it is undisputed that education overseas is a trend in developing countries, but it doesn’t mean it doesn't have any cons. Firstly
, studying in other countries means you will live alone and feel isolated due to
language barriers,
unless you have acquaintances there. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, you are susceptible to juvenile delinquency due to
lack of parental supervision and maybe you don’t know all the laws in that country.
On the other hand
, studying abroad also
brings many benefits. As I said above, you will live alone but that also
helps you be more independent. Secondly
, educational standards are better compared with our nation. Students can get a high level of education with new technology, which helps them to obtain more career opportunities and get a better job. Thirdly
, when you go to another country to study, you will be eye-opening about their culture, people, technology
and you will improve Correct word choice
and technology
the
fluency Change the word
your
of
Change preposition
in
second
language.
In conclusion, there is no doubt about the important role of education abroad in some countries, but its Correct article usage
a second
drawback
can not be ignored.Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
Submitted by huyquang17406 on
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coherence cohesion
When constructing your essay, ensure that it has a clear and logical structure. Your essay shows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas could be improved for better clarity. Use clear paragraphing and make more explicit connections between your ideas to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, strive to make your thesis statement and concluding remarks stronger by directly addressing the question and summarizing your main points more crisply.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea or topic sentence that is well-supported throughout the paragraph. Some of your points require further development and more detailed examples to persuade the reader effectively. Expand your main points with additional arguments or evidence for greater impact.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While you have addressed the general topic, developing some of your ideas more thoroughly will create a more compelling argument. Avoid general statements and provide more depth in your explanations of the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
task achievement
Aim to convey your ideas clearly and comprehensively. It is important to avoid repeating the same points and instead, explain your ideas in sufficient detail. Use specific examples to illustrate your points where appropriate.
task achievement
Make an effort to include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay would benefit from real-world examples or anecdotes that could make your arguments more convincing and relatable to the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.