Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

It is true that
happiness
is an essential part of human
life
and provides
people
with
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
and mental
joys
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joy
show examples
.
However
, the
definition
of
happyiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
is unclear since individuals have their own understanding and viewpoints
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
it. We should realize that individuals have different
life
experimence
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
, causing them
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
different
definition
Fix the agreement mistake
definitions
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
happiness
. For the poor, having delicious food and a comfortable place
for living
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to live
show examples
makes them happy. These simple things,
however
, do not attract wealthy
people
and
thus
cannot bring
happiness
to them. For a teenager,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
life
is always
connnected
Correct your spelling
connected
with stress, behavior limitation, and endless study, which cannot
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
in
happiness
. But for those who work in companies and should pay for householding expenditures,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
probably recall their campus
life
and consider
this
period
is
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
happy.
Therefore
, to give a certain
definition
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
happiness
is difficult. Regardless
varying
Change preposition
of varying
show examples
definition
Fix the agreement mistake
definitions
show examples
of
happiness
, how to achieve
happiness
is regular and not hard. The most important factor in obtaining
happiness
is that
people
should figure out what they actually need. For poor
people
, they require basic living
resource
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resources
show examples
while
the
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
need inner
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
and business achievement. When we clear
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requirements
show examples
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
, we can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and
thus
become happy.
Besides
, there is a common sense that
people
always feel happy from others' appreciation. When we help
people
to solve their problems, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
appreciate our behaviour, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
us to be satisfied and happy. In conclusion,
although
the
definition
of
happiness
vary
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varies
show examples
, everyone can be happy by satisfying self-requirement and helping others.
Submitted by 609553855 on

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coherence cohesion
Please ensure that your essay follows a clear, logical sequence. Each paragraph should connect smoothly and present ideas that build upon each other. To improve, use transition words and phrases to guide readers through your points, and ensure each main point is elaborated with a coherent explanation and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of your main points in the conclusion for a stronger, more focused piece.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to support your main points with specific examples. While you did refer to examples such as the differences between someone poor and someone wealthy, they could be further elaborated to give more depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, providing a response to why happiness is challenging to define and what factors are important in achieving happiness. However, some ideas could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive response. To improve task achievement, expand on your ideas, ensuring they are fully articulated and explore the question in greater depth.
task achievement
It is important to use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas clearly and to develop comprehensive answers to the prompt. Work on varying your sentence structure and word choice to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples, but they need to be more specific and detailed. To strengthen your essay, use concrete evidence and illustrations to exemplify your points and make them more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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