IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The two diagrams below describe changes to a museum's floor plan between 2008 and 2012.

The two diagrams below describe changes to a museum's floor plan between 2008 and 2012.
The rendered map illustrates the changes that occurred in the infrastructure of
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 floor in 2008 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that a number of facilities have been added to the museum floor plan
such
Linking Words
 as a lift, exhibition
area
Use synonyms
, reading room and others.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, in 2012, the main entrance hall was constructed
along with
Linking Words
 the terrace
while
Linking Words
 the walking path was unchanged.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the gallery
as well as
Linking Words
 the shop is in the same
place
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
area
Use synonyms
 of reception has become smaller.
Also
Linking Words
, the reception was shifted to restaurants.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, new facilities were added to the infrastructure of the museum in 2012
such
Linking Words
 as an exhibition
place
Use synonyms
 and self-service cafe
along with
Linking Words
 a lift in the eastern direction. Moving
further
Linking Words
,
children's
Correct article usage
the children's
show examples
 play
area
Use synonyms
 has taken the
place
Use synonyms
 of
cloak
Correct article usage
the cloak
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 and the stairs have vanished.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the reading
place
Use synonyms
 was introduced in the same
place
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with, such".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Floor plan
  • Renovation
  • Expansion
  • Spatial distribution
  • Accessibility
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit
  • Gallery
  • Interactive displays
  • Historical artifacts
  • Educational facilities
  • Visitor amenities
  • Foot traffic
  • Layout alteration
  • Modernize
  • Gift shop
  • Cafeteria
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