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Band 4.5

The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#role #parents #future #success #person #skills #learnt #school
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There is a debate over whether
parents
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 and family play crucial roles in the future success of a child rather than school. I partly agree with
this
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 view and I will enumerate my
reasons
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 below.
To begin
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 with, there are several
reasons
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 why
parents
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 and family have
great
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a great
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 influence on the children. For one thing, they affect the personality and outlook in life. Basically, personal disposition is one of
key
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the key
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 factors of success_. Normally, people who have optimistic
view
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views
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sare
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are
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 more likely to be successful rather than those who have pessimism.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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parents
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 who have perseverance in challenging times can give
on
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apply
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their children good
mentatility
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motivation
 which is not to give up easily.
Therefore
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, it is helpful that these kids can get through tough times and achieve their goals. In spite of the
reason
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reasons
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 mentioned above, I am of the opinion that learning at school has more advantages. One of the main
reasons
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 for
this
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 contention is that it is the verified curriculum, being designed to students’ needs. The purpose of education is
cultivating
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to cultivate
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 outstanding individuals. In
this
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 regard, in schools, students can systematically learn basic common sense,
such
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 as multiplication, democracy, election, Shakespeare, boiling point, and so on. Another reason commonly put forward is that they can
also
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 learn sociable skills,
hanging
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by hanging
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 out with other people.
This
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 is
hard
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apply
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the
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a
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 hard skill to learn at home with their own family.
Furthermore
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, in order to attain success, the skill which deals with social relationships is needed. In conclusion,
although
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 there are a few
reasons
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 why the role of
parents
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 and family is important to future success, schools can
give
Verb problem
have
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 greater effects
to
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on
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 children.
Submitted by moonmond15 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs logically flow from one to the next, with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Begin by paraphrasing the question and presenting a clear thesis statement in the introduction. Conclude with a succinct summary of your position.
task achievement
Expand on ideas with specific, detailed examples that support your main points, providing clear evidence for your arguments.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, ensuring that your opinion is clear and covers the scope of the question from the introduction through to the conclusion.
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