IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #information #features #comparisons
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The two pie charts indicate the proportion of budget spent on
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 compared to
Malaysia
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 in 2010 based on five categories, namely housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services.
Overall
Linking Words
, all countries spent the most on housing, transport, food and other goods and services. By
contrase
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the percentage of spending on health care was the lowest. It can be seen from the chart that around 34% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
’s budget was spent on housing.
This
Linking Words
 figure took up over one-third of the total cost
while
Linking Words
 it was just over one-fifth in Japa, at 21%. Transport in
Japan
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
costs
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 twice
cost
Verb problem
apply
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as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 as in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 on
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average. As
in
Change preposition
apply
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illustrated by the graph, food expenditure in
Malaysia
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 accounted for 27% was slightly higher than that of
Japan
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with
Change preposition
at
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 24%. In terms of different goods and services,
Japan
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 spent
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 29% which was 3% more than that of
Malaysia
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the comparison of spending on health care doubled in
Japan
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, at 6%
rhan
Correct your spelling
than
 the figure for
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 at only 3%.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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