Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open area of towns and cities than to bulid more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It goes without saying that planting trees in open
space
is more important than constructing more housing. I agree with Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
this
perspective as cities need more green area
to increase Fix the agreement mistake
areas
general
quality Correct article usage
the general
life
.
First and foremost, Change preposition
of life
in
common, big Change preposition
apply
city
well known for Wrong verb form
cities are
the
poor air pollution rate and sometimes it is Change the word
their
dangeous
for the citizens. Correct your spelling
dangerous
For instance
, people in Jakarta used to wear Add an article
a mask
the mask
mask
in Fix the agreement mistake
masks
outdoor
Add an article
the outdoor
area
to avoid the risk of Fix the agreement mistake
areas
pheunomia
Correct your spelling
pneumonia
illnes
. The government currently Correct your spelling
illnesses
try
to open more public space and make sure it has many plants. Having more green Wrong verb form
trying
area
can reduce Fix the agreement mistake
areas
the
air pollution.
Correct article usage
apply
Futhermore
, creating public spaces Correct your spelling
Furthermore
also
bring
some benefits for Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
social
aspect. A lot of communities Add an article
the social
promoting
the importance of green plants to the public. Wrong verb form
promote
This
can bring the shifting of public mindset become
more aware of Fix the infinitive
to become
enviromental
issues. Correct your spelling
environmental
For example
, some pro-enviromental
communities made Correct your spelling
pro-environmental
public
Add an article
the public
a public
event
for reforestation in Fix the agreement mistake
events
city
Add an article
the city
center
, having attention Change the spelling
centre
from
the Change preposition
to
particapates
is beneficial to share the ecological message.
Correct your spelling
participants
participates
Finally
, although
some people might argue that build
more housing is more critical, they should remember that having Wrong verb form
building
sustainable
environment will Correct article usage
a sustainable
benefits
younger generations. In conclusion, I believe Change the verb form
benefit
in
pushing Change preposition
that
public
agenda on reforestation in the city is more important compared to creating more buildings.Correct article usage
the public
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structure
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and the rest of the paragraph should develop this main idea.
examples
Support your arguments with specific examples. While you provided some situations, more detailed examples and data would strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Ensure your essay maintains coherence by using cohesive devices and transition words effectively. Though you used some, consistency and variety in their use could be improved.
argument balance
A fully developed response includes exploring both views or providing a more nuanced argument. You presented a one-sided view, so consider acknowledging the other side of the argument to enhance the balance of your response.
explanation
Focus on paragraphing and making sure that your points are not only clearly stated but also well-explained and elaborated to ensure coherence and cohesion throughout your essay.
balance
To improve task achievement, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed with equal depth. Though you focused on the importance of green spaces, discussing the housing aspect more thoroughly could improve the balance of your content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.