In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.
In recent years, there's
a
successful market for Add a missing verb
been a
skin
whitening cosmetic products
in numerous contries
. The main reasons are the Correct your spelling
countries
beauty
trend created by commercial campaigns and the social norm being expected for
Change preposition
of
women
. This
can lead to effects such
as money being wasted on useless products
and the rise of several skin
problems.
The first reason for this
trend is the western
Capitalize word
Western
beauty
standard being presented in commercial campaigns made by beauty
companies. In these advertisement
, more often than not, the models being presented are white people with flawless Change the determiner
this advertisement
these advertisements
skin
, which instill
a standard into people's minds that only white Change the spelling
instil
skin
is considered as beautiful. Take, for example
, Olay commercials that always showcase a bright
Correct your spelling
bright-skinned
skin
woman as a beautiful and sucessful enterpreuner
. Another reason is that it is now considered a norm for Correct your spelling
successful entrepreneur
women
to pay attention into
taking care of their appearance. Even though they're talented, female individuals are being judged by their looks and as white Change preposition
to
reflextion
is considered as the standard, they're required to preserve their white and bright Correct your spelling
reflection
skin
.
The first effect of this
trend is the significant amount of money wasted on unnecessary products
that claim to whiten the skin
. Despite the high price, these items are not effective
as they are promoted and Rephrase
as effective
as a result
, they will be thrown away after a couple uses
. Another Change preposition
of uses
consequnce
of using these Correct your spelling
consequence
products
is the increase
number of Replace the word
increased
skin
issues. The reason is that women
are taking risk
using unofficial cosmetic items that include detrimental components in order to have Fix the agreement mistake
risks
a
bright white Remove the article
apply
skin
. For example
, a myriad of women
in Southern Vietnam use "mixed cream" as a body lotion to brighten their skin
even though these lotions are confirmed to contain corticoid - a banned chemical that can cause skin
irritation, redness or inflammation after a few months being
used.
In conclusion, Change preposition
of being
it's
now an increasing number of cosmetic Correct pronoun usage
there's
products
for skin
whitening in several regions. The main reasons are the beauty
standards promoted by companies and the social expectation
for Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
women
. This
can result in negative ramifications such
as wasted money and more skin
diseas
.Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to help connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, concise, and paraphrase the task without losing any essential elements.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response covers the reasons for using products and discusses the effects they have in terms of health and society in equal measure.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas more comprehensively by adding more specific details and examples.
task achievement
Use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas with precision and avoid repetition.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite