Write about the following topic. In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that
people
in the world have a tendency to use some products
which can help their skin
brighten up. I would contend that my essay is dedicated to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent influences.
Without a shadow of a doubt, skin
whitening items can bring a large profit for companies which are involved in beautiful aspects and one of the outstanding reasons which
related to Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
phenomenon is media
effects. Because media
platforms show that white skinned
Add a hyphen
white-skinned
people
are more beautiful and have higher status than dark skinned
Add a hyphen
dark-skinned
people
, as a result
, it can lead to a population of skin
care products
which can assist their skin
whitening up after a period. For example
, there are abundant advertisements which are produced by cosmetic brands in order to not only express an
important role of white Correct article usage
the
skin
but also
to improve people
's use of their products
. Hence
, a remarkable justification why cosmetic manufacturers which can enhance people
’s skin
white up
become more and more popular is Change preposition
apply
media
effects.
While
the culprit of this
problem is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if influences
of whitening items are ignored. With the hope of having Correct article usage
the influences
a
light and clean Correct article usage
apply
skin
, there are many people
who abuse cosmetic products
so as
to increase Correct word choice
apply
level
Correct article usage
the level
white
of their Change preposition
of white
skin
without caring about their impacts, especially skin
diseases. For instance
, nowadays, in the market, there is a wealth of whitening products
which can contain some harmful ingredients which can contribute to some serious problems related to skin
diseases, therefore
, if people
do not have enough in-depth knowledge about cosmetics, they can suffer a flood of alarming diseases. Thus
using cosmetics to have a
white Remove the article
apply
skin
with limited knowledge, people
’s skin
can be influenced by some bad ingredients in this
product.
In conclusion, a reason why people
tend to take a keen interest in utilizing light products
to improve their skin
is impacted by media
platforms and it can result in some unhealthy problems to their skin
if they make use of it for a long time.Submitted by nh203618 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but you need to ensure that you develop your main points fully, providing clearer explanations and more relevant examples to support your arguments. Connect your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from better organization. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas and utilize cohesive devices to help the reader follow your argument. Work on creating a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.