Some people say that we should not encourage sports games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?

#people #sports #games #schools #competition #cooperation

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In the contemporary era, whether students should be inspired to play inter-school

sports

Use synonyms

has become an upsurging subject of widespread debate and concern. Some people assert that it fosters competitiveness rather than collaboration.

However

Linking Words

, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will demonstrate the reasons. On the one hand, critics may point out some shortcomings. They may argue that competition breeds selfishness among students.

For example

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

participating in

sports

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, everyone wishes to win, and no one would like to fail. Nowadays, youngsters are more aggressive than earlier and do not have the strength to bear wins and losses.

As a result

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, we get to hear and see in the media the arguments between them that escalated to murder.

On the other hand

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, there are several arguments

favour

Change preposition

in favour

show examples

of my stance. Mainly,

sports

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can create a good personality and self-confidence. It can build a person who can face any challenge without fear. The emergence of

such

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a group of young people is paramount for the future of the world. Truly, it is the most preponderant one, and it has many positive consequences in various ways.

Secondly

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, children learn to work as a team and

also

Linking Words

to collaborate

for instance

Linking Words

, in cricket, netball, football, and volleyball, the kind of games played as a team thereby, they feel the team spirit, which helps them to be good employees in the future.

Furthermore

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, usually, whoever plays

sports

Use synonyms

enrolls

Change the spelling

enrols

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

club to enhance their skills Not only that

Remove the comma

apply

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but their social skills are honed as well. Despite some drawbacks, in conclusion, encouraging teenagers to play

sports

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between

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show examples

schools has significant positive impacts on society.

Submitted by Grrace on Thu Nov 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your response tended to present generalizations rather than delving into specifics, which limited the overall coherence and cohesiveness of your essay. It would be advisable to include more detailed examples to support your main points, ensuring your arguments are adequately exemplified and more convincing.

task achievement

You have attempted to address the task by presenting an argument with supporting ideas. However, your response would greatly benefit from a clearer position throughout the response and deeper development of the ideas presented. Inclusion of specific examples and a more detailed analysis would bolster your argument and enhance task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Some people say that we should not encourage sports games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

Write about the following topic. The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write about the following topic. Buying things online on the internet such as boo, air tickets and groceries is s becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages.