IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most
students
Use synonyms
 aim to enhance their
capabilities
Use synonyms
 by exploring
subjects
Use synonyms
 beyond their major at the
university
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that it is crucial for
students
Use synonyms
 to concentrate their time on the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 at the
university
Use synonyms
 as a qualification before obtaining a
graduate
Use synonyms
 degree. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views regarding
students
Use synonyms
 fulfilling their
capabilities
Use synonyms
 outside of the main subject and the importance of learning mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
 at the
university
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 need to study additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 on top of the mandatory campus
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is essential to enhance their
skills
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
 beyond their major.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other
capabilities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as soft
skills
Use synonyms
 and practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
, are crucial before entering the workplace.
For instance
Linking Words
, learning about soft
skills
Use synonyms
 like presentation or interviewing may not be provided by the
university
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, these
capabilities
Use synonyms
 are vital for
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 as they enter the workforce.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 from the
university
Use synonyms
 have already acquired
skills
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
 during their academic journey.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are requirements for
students
Use synonyms
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 these
capabilities
Use synonyms
 outside of their main subject.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they must successfully pass the mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
 at the
university
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the
university
Use synonyms
's minimum requirements,
students
Use synonyms
 must pass specific
subjects
Use synonyms
 before obtaining their
graduate
Use synonyms
 degree.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who are allowed to explore other
subjects
Use synonyms
 might already be in their final year.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the
skills
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
 required in the workplace are based on
university
Use synonyms
 programs, specifically the mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
 provided by the
university
Use synonyms
 throughout their academic studies.
This
Linking Words
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and these
skills
Use synonyms
 will assist them in solving workplace problems effectively. In summary,
students
Use synonyms
 who study
subjects
Use synonyms
 outside of their main discipline are granted the opportunity to enhance their
skills
Use synonyms
, including soft
skills
Use synonyms
, before entering the workforce.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, universities have mandatory
subjects
Use synonyms
 that all
students
Use synonyms
 must pass, which is essential for meeting requirements before obtaining a
graduate
Use synonyms
 degree.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay tends to generalize rather than examining specific points in depth and sometimes repeats ideas. To improve task achievement, try to develop your arguments by providing more precise and varied examples. This will ensure a more complete response to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your writing shows an attempt to organize ideas logically. However, to reach a higher band for coherence and cohesion, it's imperative to structure the essay more effectively. Use clear and distinct topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that the flow between ideas is smoother. Connectives should be used to demonstrate clear relationships between points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: